#I can't believe I even feel sympathy for you
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About Trafalgar Law and his vitiligo
Feel free to ignore this post if you so wish, but I chose to speak up on this matter. I have seen so many fanarts that portray Law with his white skin patches, often looking like a dalmatian and it bothers me. Are you all aware that animal-like patterns for vitiligo are considered insulting? And you all might look at me weirdly now and ask "how can something so cute/wholesome/unique possibly be bothersome to anyone?!" Read further on your own risk, slight tmi.
Law's disease is of course fictional. Visually it looks the closest to vitiligo, but it has a lot in common with autoimmune skin diseases as well. I happen to know how it's like to live with a skin disease. Meds for my condition aren't really for curing anything, they just make the symptoms dimnish, but in return they leave white patches on my skin that are resistant to tanning for a long while (also those meds are very dangerous for your kidneys apparently if used too often, as a side note). Why would anyone use them? Well, because it's a hereditary skin condition: it never goes away and there's no way to cure it, those meds are literally the only thing that does anything. I just get lucky whenever symptoms aren't visible for some time until they inevitably come back anyway. And believe me, this isn't "wholesome", "cute" or "unique" to have discolored skin patches. You all probably have no idea (why would you have anyway, it's natural that you don't) how it's like in summer, when you go on a bus or tram, you wear a t-shirt because it's freaking hot and you can't hide under the clothes or you risk melting or fainting. And people see your discolored skin or red patches on your skin. You know how they react? They stare at your hands/arms and then they move away. That's the default reaction whenever your skin looks unusual. People would rather move away, just in case it's something contagious. They will also stare, a lot, and you can feel it's judgemental, even though my condition is in no way my own fault (or anyone else's who also has it), thank you very much.
That being said, I doubt Law would be happy parading openly with white patches visible on his skin. Most people wouldn't realize that's it's just a leftover from his old, cured disease. They would simply assume what people always assume: that it's something contagious. Evidence below, if you need it:
And Law's reaction to their reaction:
He doesn't look very happy, of course.
People would isolate him, avoid him and *stare* disrespectfully at him like he's a weird specimen, at best. Law would quickly learn to hide it under his clothes, long sleeves, long pants, gloves etc. No one truly wants to attract negative attention like this, especially not someone who already went through a lot of traumatic experiences, like Law. And sure, as a child he didn't really hide it:
But take into account those are the clothes he was wearing ever since Flevance happened. He didn't have any other clothes. As soon as he's accepted as part of Doflamingo's family he starts to wear different ones, and he covers up the spots on his arms by wearing long sleeves:
And oh boy, I can totally relate to that.
Sure, in ideal world, no one would assume Law has a disease just because his skin is discolored. But we're not living in ideal world. Some people, just like me, have hereditary skin conditions and feel bothered by fanarts that exoticize skin disease or skin disorder. Yeah sure, why does it matter, Law is a fictional character with fictional disease, right? But vitiligo is very similar to this and is a real condition which is part of life of real people. Those aren't freckles that are just cute and make you look unique (and some people might have freckles and still hate the extra attention drawn towards it, and it's valid if they feel like that!).
Just wanted to get that off my chest. I don't need sympathy for my disease, this is not why I wrote this post. I just wish people would realize that by drawing a vitiligo Law they're toying with a lot of emotional baggage there, please treat it respectfully. Maybe one day the world will be wholesome enough to think of it as normal (normal, not fetishized, ugly, contagious or exotic!), but I assure you it still doesn't. If you think it's just a "me" thing, check out this blog: https://www.tumblr.com/vitiligo-is-not-a-trend/765530242896003072 and many other posts of theirs. Not everyone with skin conditions might react the same way, but keep in mind people with actual vitiligo and skin diseases can and often will be really sensitive about it, and for a good reason.
Yes, that being said I also think it's wholesome if Luffy accepts vitiligo spots on Law easily like it's not a big deal, especially in comparison to the rest of the world which would fear him instead. It's definitely something Luffy would do. But that's completely different from fetishizing it. Please, you're stepping on a thin line here, tumblr.
#one piece#trafalgar law#vitiligo law#autoimmune skin disease#not how I imagined I would come out on tumblr but here we are#I still think this is important#please be respectful#people often carry really heavy emotional baggage about it
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"That's fascinating," Antonio said, "I did do some research on the typical cat Sidhe. Of course, I don't seem to be one. They seem to be drawn to warmth, perhaps because the cold slows them down."
Or in his case, makes him feel tired. He had lost count of how many times he had almost passed on public transport in the Winter just because it got so cold.
"Causing a little mischief is a good sign," Antonio said, "I think it means you're starting to at least feel a little better. I'm just glad we were able to stop fighting among ourselves in the end. We even got to laugh together for a moment."
A moment to relax while nothing was happening to them, so to speak. There was that sympathy in his green eyes.
"Maybe after all of this is over, perhaps we could all just sit down for a meal. I am aware Bill can't seem to eat normal food, but I feel he would still enjoy it for the company," Antonio added, "I will admit, I have missed the idea of it myself. Well, I mainly just enjoyed family dinners when my Nonno was there."
And he couldn't really remember the last time he had a meal with company. It had been that long.
"Then I think that can be arranged. We gather for some meal of sorts. A breakfast, lunch, or a dinner, sometime when this is all over," Antonio said. It would be nice to cook for people again, and actually have company, "What do you reckon?"
He frowned a bit at that. Antonio still had his regrets over letting that thing in his body and acting the way he did.
"To be honest, I have no hard feelings for him. I was angry when he first tried to control me, but he has changed," Antonio said, "And I was not acting in my own best interests when I attacked him in his shop. It does not change the fact that I allowed myself to become corrupted by that force in the first place. I am also glad we can still get along despite what I did."
But then he looked curious.
"Your father? You believe he might have something to do with this? Do you need me to go with you? I know it can be daunting to confront a parent alone, especially if he might be sending people to attack your friends."
"Oh, it's actually the opposite for me. It's like that for all of us, actually. Our powers basically renew every Winter Solstice." Rook explained, "I should start feeling a bit a few days before my birthday."
She was looking forward to that more than usual with everything that was going on. Hopefully, they would figure this mess out before the stress of organizing the celebrations added itself to the rest.
"Well, I couldn't resist." Rook replied with a grin, "And it was the only nice moment of that shitty evening. I think that and this breakfast are the only nice notes in this whole mess...the company too."
Rook's wings twitched at that, betraying her apprehension towards the situation. It was difficult to keep up the brave act while those she cared about were getting hurt or fighting each other.
"I know I miss sitting at the table with others. Mum hangs around sometimes, but she can't eat." She set the phone down once both messages were sent and eagerly dug in. "Well, Lucien wouldn't say no to that. He loves getting spoiled."
She clearly didn't mind either. Rook wasn't lying about having more of an appetite.
"I'm glad you two are getting along, though. There's enough going on with those weirdos who are after us as is... Which brings me to the next suspect on my list."
There was another twitch as Rook looked up.
"It might be a good time to check on my dad."
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why would u even care if I was fucking talking about you at least I minded my own fucking business and tried to move on with ny live
#erm#weekly vent post </3#no but genuinely I'm getting sick just at this thought#may or may not be vomiting#/srs 😐#I try not to be hateful#I want to be a better person#I want to grow#and I've been trying#but srsly wtaf#I knew I should've just killed my self back in February oh my god#schools just a few days away and I don't wanna make my friends sad#we've been wating doreever to see each other#I can't stop crying#I have a crippling sh addiction and I feel like no one can help me#I'm not supposed to feel this way#in supposed go be happy im supposed to be better#I'm supposed to be better than this.#but then the slightest trigger comes around and it all fucking crashes#it's tiring#I don't even have the energy to talk to anyone anymore#but I don't wanna even get better anymore#because it's not ever gonna be worth it#damnit you know who you are if you see this you're actually a major piece of shit and I hate you so much#I can't believe I even feel sympathy for you#you don't deserve my pity#okay rant over
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have i ever talked about how barton is genuinely jealous of people who seem happy because he feels so hollow a majority of the time that even when he's 'happy,' he's not really happy? because i just 😭 yeah...
#OF MONSTERS AND MEN: musings.#yeahhh i'm hitting y'all with the angst now because although i could EASILY talk about how horrible barton is for a while...#he knows that he's horrible and he feels like a monster who exists on the outside of everything that is 'warm' and 'good' sometimes#and although it doesn't haunt barton as NEARLY as much as it should be he does sometimes spend days on end just. In bed and crying#because he feels like he physically CAN'T be normal like everyone else and that he has deserved every terrible thing that has happened-#to him because it he legitimately believes it was too late for him since the beginning. that merely born as part of the mathis family-#had pegged him for misery and causing people pain because that's what his father did as well as his father's father and likely-#even further back. and i just... UGH i am of course allowed to feel sympathy for a fictional character at times but it's such a double-edged#sword with some because even barton has these moments where he is not so bad and maybe even does something kind by another-#person you know? but he is self-destructive and sabotages his relationships + his anger is just. out of control and it's kind of sad#but also like... if you want something to change then you've got to do it for yourself. i don't think barton as a character right now KNOWS-#how to change though and that is honestly tragic in and of itself
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Men are absolutely losing it because women are seeing through their bullshit and I'm here to watch their collective narcissistic meltdown
#I understand anti feminists because feminism is a CIA funded plant that dug its own grave in regards to the trans stuff#I understand anti fems until they start saying we need to feel compassion for incels lol#I can tell these anti feminist women have never got stuck with a narcissist / borderline personality man before#The only way you can deal with a Cluster B is shut them down like the animal they are.#No sympathy no compassion... Their entire pathology is about exploiting your compassion to get you to enable their evil.#They are demonically possessed individuals#Even if you don't believe in that stuff... If you've dealt with one before and processed it... you know there's no fixing them#You can't love incels out of hating women#They have a deep-seated womb envy that transcends feminism or anything to do with the modern times#Coddling them literally makes it worse#See if the population understood enneagram things would be much easier lol#4s (incels) need to get they ass whooped by some harsh eugenic 1-ness#You cannot love them out of being hateful#And 2s (gender conforming women) need to grow some self awareness and understand that they keep themselves trapped in the “feminine role”#It's not muh social conditioning muh patriarchy keeping women sympathizing with gross men#It is our own 2-ish hubris#I need to write a book about gender dynamics inspired by enneagram 2 cuz this understanding is so so lacking in our culture#When you try to “fix” a broken man you are trying to impose your will on him and establish power over him.#It's absolutely not about you being a poor little innocent victim of patriarchy even though that's what you become when it backfires on you#Speaking as a 2-ish woman who has learned the hard way you can't fix broken hateful men
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sometimes I just wish my friends liked me the way other people's seem to
#Being angry sad at my best friend hours again#I just can't believe she'd fucking do that to me so casually and not even fucking regret or be sorry a little bit#Just a fucking iota of sympathy or fuckin compassion is all I am fucking asking of you#Doesn't tell me shit then tells me I'm bad at communication#Tells anyone BUT ME about our relationship so I'm always the last to fuckin know#Doesn't tell me things for literal YEARS so I can't fuckin help then gets mad when I didn't do anything#And then she's surprised when I end up in these shitty codependent relationships with other people and don't believe that she likes me#Or wants me at all even#She's just such a fucking callous fucking hypocrite and I fucking hate her but also I can't fucking lose her#Fuck she's such a bitch sometimes#She just hurts me and then expects me to still be there in the end!#And I'm not helping myself by STILL FUCKING BEING THERE#I just wish she liked me#And saw that she has Systematically fucking destroyed my trust in other people#She hurt me and she doesn't even fucking care#And the thing is I spent so SO long thinking I was everything wrong in our friendship#That if I could just be a good enough person I'd be good enough for her eventually#But I never fuckin have been have i! Because I'm not a fuckin mind reader!#I spent so long feeling like shit and wishing I could just be better but not knowing how#And then she drops the bomb that she's been actively keeping shit from me and excluding me since 2020! So fuck me I guess!#And there's all this fucking hurt but also this weird peace of 'oh. I wasn't everything wrong.'#Which also makes me so fucking mad because if she'd just TOLD ME I couldve spent so much time NOT HATING MYSELF#For problems that I couldn't fix because she wouldn't TELL ME ABOUT THEM!#I spent so long feeling like I wasn't enough and knowing something was wrong but she wouldn't tell me WHAT#And now it's my fault that I couldn't just figure it out! Fuck off!!#She is so fucking good at making people feel like shit#And after all of this! She doesn't get why I don't belive she likes or wants me! What the ACTUAL fuck!#And now I gotta tell her all this because despite all of this I do love her and belive my life is better for having her in it#And I gotta tell her without her deciding I'm not worth it and leaving so that's fucking cool#I'm half convinced shes manipulating me so I leave her and she can be the victim of big mean Lachlan and maintain her moral high ground
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[tw: parental death, terminal illness under the cut]
Don't like, worry, or whatever y'all. This is more just me musing and warning to others than anything, just happens to be a sadder one. I'm good in this department nowadays FYI, so please don't worry or anything, but as you can guess you don't really stop missing people.
Pretty sure this was all brought on by simply finding a funny video/meme I think she'd have liked.
It's hard to believe my mom's been gone for almost 2 years now. Like, I had acted as her primary caregiver since 2017 until '21, so it's not like I didn't know what was going to happen. But I still think you can only prepare yourself so much, I guess.
IDK, it's just her birthday wasn't too long ago, and I've had a lot of spare time to sit and ruminate lately.
Seriously guys, whoever's reading this and needs to see it: Don't. Don't fucking smoke. For the love of fucking GOD and every single one of your loved ones, do NOT smoke. You have no idea what you could be putting your family through, let alone YOURSELF once you start losing yourself to full-on COPD.
And I don't say that figuratively. It's not just wheezing, or shortness of breath. It's not that whole "emphysema is like breathing thru a straw" thing. It's not just Asthma But More. The chronic hypoxemia and WILL cause brain damage - you will start to lose your memory, you WILL slowly lose yourself, and so will anyone else that cares for you. And yet, you'll stay completely aware of what's happening well after it's too late to turn around.
I watched her die for years. I was holding her fucking hand when she took her last god damned, struggling breath. I can't think of a worse way to do die.
You'll stop caring about anything other than surviving. And the sad part? You will NOT survive. COPD is terminal, no if ands or buts. And if you're banking on it? Goooood fucking luck trying to get approved for a lung transplant as a smoker, cause you're gonna need it.
I don't even WANT to get into the details - but let's just say it takes a good amount of therapy to even be able to deal with it firsthand.
Like, I know this probably won't change any minds, gods know it didn't get me to kick the habit until she'd passed. I get it, it's how addiction works. It's not some "well just quit then" bullshit. And I'll be real with you - you'll probably still have occasional cravings for years afterward. But just maybe I can be that last straw for someone out there who actually wants to try.
Because fuck man, it's worth it. If not for you, your loved ones. It's so fucking worth it. Even if you don't give a shit about yourself, think about those you care for. Please.
Anywho, there's my oddly personal, likely wine-fueled, bit of advice/ramble.
#tw death#tw parental death#tw terminal illness#tw smoking#for the love of everything please don't fucking do it#you'll probably never do anything else as good for yourself and your health than quitting cigs#believe me it's SO SO SO fucking worth it and IDK if you'd even realize it until you do so#i can say from my own old smoking habit it's a nightmare to actually quit - it really is at first#i LITERALLY broke my fucking old benzo addiction 10x easier than quitting smoking#but i genuinely can't think of much of anything worth trying more for#if not for your sake - for the people you care about#NOT looking for sympathy fyi - just hoping someone who needs it sees it#personal but if you wanna rb feel free
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a moment too late
Characters: Ayato, Diluc, Childe, Cyno, Wriothesley, Zhongli
— your husband doesn't make it to you in time...
CW: ANGST w/ very little to no comfort, gn!reader (they/them pronouns), scars (Diluc), blood (Diluc, Childe, Cyno, Zhongli), death (all except Cyno and Diluc), kidnapping (Cyno), minor Fontaine Act 1 + 4 spoilers (Primordial Sea Water - iykyk), spoilers for Childe’s real name
val's no sympathy novemeber masterlist
I don't know if I can take a month of hurting my boys....
Thinking about them not making it in time...
Ayato, who had been in an important meeting.
He'd given strict instructions to all his retainers and the Shuumatsuban to not interrupt under any circumstance. So, when one of the newer helpers knocked on the door, the commissioner was less than pleased. Without letting the young man get a word out, Ayato cuts him off, a sharp smile on his face. "Please, wait outside. I'll deal with the matter after this."
When the retainer tried again, a feeble "but, my lord-!" sputtering over his twisted tongue, the change in Ayato's tone couldn't be missed, and it left no room for interjections.
When a second knock echoed through the room some minutes later, it took everything in the clan head not to sigh out loud in front of all the powerful politicians and businessmen. This time, however, when it was the familiar face of Thoma that stepped in, a scarily straight face as his expression, something shifted in the male. It didn't help that the pyro user didn't stop his advancement toward him, even at the call of his name.
It was like the whole world shattered the moment the blond leaned by his ear, the news that you'd been placed in the nearest hospital plummetting his heart into his stomach.
There's this inner struggle that takes over, the role of a leader and your husband fighting against one another - he can't just leave so abruptly, but he also feels like he might crumble if he isn't by your side in the next ten seconds.
It's the firm hand that's placed on his shoulder that breaks him away from his thoughts. Following the arm he meets the slight smile of Thoma, "I have this handled, my lord. Go, be with them."
He's up and out of the room in an instant, briskly walking in the direction of the hospital. When he gets there he borderline demands the receptionist to tell him your room number, off again the moment she gets the last syllable out. Just as he reaches the curtain separating you from him, his heart threatening to beat out of his chest, a doctor steps out.
"Lord Kamisato..." his tone is grave as he blocks the entrance with his body. Despite the obvious attempt to stop the young lord from entering, your husband tries to sidestep him. He's stopped by a simple raise of the hand and he feels a mix of disdain and unsettlement swirl within.
"Please, let me speak with them," Ayato nothing but begs, something he never does. He's known as a negotiator, a logical reasoning man, he doesn't need to beg for what he needs in the political world, but for you, his world, he'd gladly grovel at this man's feet just for you.
The aforementioned man licks his lips, adjusting his clipboard so it rests against his chest, "I'm sorry Mr. Kamisato, but that won't be possible..."
The urgency rises and Ayato moves the doctor out of his way, stepping into your room. It doesn't take a genius to put two and two together about what was trying to be said, but your lover can't bring himself to believe it. Not you too.
The moment he's at your bedside he leans close, trying to wear a smile as he places his hand on your shoulder, softly shaking you the exact same way he did that very morning. "My dear... wake up. This is no time for your silly tricks, we have to go home and have dinner together like I promised." His warm hands move up to your cheek, brushing his thumb along your equally warm skin, but when you make no move or noise the reality finally sets in for him.
His broken smile slips and all he can manage is a soft call of your name. Of course, there's still no answer, and Ayato is stuck flipping between the different stages of grief.
What if he'd listened the first time? Let the retainer who initially walked in speak? Would he have gotten a chance to speak with you? To tell you he loves you? To say goodbye properly?
You can't actually be dead, right? There's no way this is happening to him again.
He starts to promise to spend more time with you, he'll take off as much time as you want him to, he'll take you to that restaurant you've been wanting to go to but couldn't bring yourself to without him, he'll visit the land of Liyue with you - he knows you've been gushing about the scenery and culture recently. He'll do it all and more, you just had to open your eyes again for him.
Silence.
"Damn it all..." he whispered, face twisting in agony. Of course he couldn't have it his way this time. As if his parents weren't enough, the world just had to take you away from him too.
The doctor watches for a moment as one of the most powerful men in Inazuma sheds tear after tear before him, the droplets falling and hitting your lifeless body. As Ayato sinks to his knees before you, the doctor takes this as his cue to step out.
For the next few hours, the hospital is noticeably quieter, no one daring to interrupt a man who's just lost one of the dearest people to him.
For the next few hours, Ayato's tears slowly soak your shirt, his grip on the bedding knuckle white, his sobs muffled by your skin as it slowly grows colder and colder, fighting to commit everything about you to memory.
That night, he could not bring himself to eat dinner, for all he could remember was you, the way you smiled at him and how it was all ripped away from him, never to be seen again.
———
Diluc, whose connections are spread all over the world yet no one could locate you.
It should be impossible. The owner of Dawn Winery only associates himself with competent business partners. So, how could it be that the best of the best from all walks of life and all backgrounds couldn't locate the one person he needed to find?
Tirelessly, the redhead looked for you. Many sleepless nights weighed on him from shouldering so many responsibilities at once. He constantly asked for updates on the investigation and every time the news that there were no advances was just another layer of stress for him. So, of course, the moment the word of your location reached his ears, Diluc was up and out the door, claymore in hand, a fury in his eyes that few have seen only a handful of times.
When he got there, there being some far corner of Starfell Valley on the mountainside, there was no time to process or ask questions. All he knew was that you needed help if you wanted even a chance of making it out alive.
By a stroke of luck, you managed to escape the Abyss Mages that had been holding you hostage, an atrocious act that was no doubt aimed to make The Darknight Hero suffer. However, weaponless and exhausted, the creatures of down under easily caught up to you, surrounding you and throwing you around like a ragdoll. Diluc counted seven - one hydro, two electro, two cryo and two pyro - each using the elements to keep you from running too far.
With a few swift strikes of his enflamed claymore, the cryo and hydro mages disappeared in a cloud of red and black. Of course, they'd be the easiest of the group to get rid of. The last four would be the real challenge.
In between strikes, Diluc managed to get close to you, bending down to your fallen form. “Are you alright? Can you walk?” He did a once over of your body, noting that dirt clung to you and a couple cuts littered your skin. You could barely move too, having the shit kicked out of you.
“Not very far…” you groaned, raising your body slightly off the ground. Your lover nodded, glancing at the enemy before helping you stand.
“That’s alright, just get to that tree over there. I’ll come get you and take you home soon.” Diluc watches for a moment as you nod and begin to make your way over, turning his back to you once you've made decent progress. Taking up his weapon once more, it's a brutal clash of sparks and fire as he lets his adrenaline and rage fuel his every move. Soon, one electro mage goes down, and then the second and then one of the pyro ones until all that stands between him and getting you medical care and a nice bath is a single pyro Abyss Mage.
The demonic creature cackles loudly, a shrill sound that echoes in the silence. As it begins to wave its staff, a shock of recognition strikes Diluc and he glances around, looking for where the fire-breathing faces are going to appear. When he doesn't spot any dread fills his being and he chances a glance towards you, praying to the Archons that what he's thinking isn't about to play out.
The gods weren't in his favour.
Time seems to slow as he watches the triangle of heads surround you; he watches as you slowly turn to face one head-on, your tired eyes widening as you register the situation. Dilcu's only able to catch you turning your face away before he attacks the mage while its guard is down, interrupting its early dance of victory.
The next few minutes are a blur, both for you and your husband. Everything hurts, any slight movement or breath sends shooting pain through your body. When Diluc picks you up off the ground you let out the most heartbreaking cry he's heard and it took everything in him not to just stand there and soothe you.
He mumbled apology after apology, offering words of comfort as he ran as best he could without harming you further. When he made it to the cathedral he was ushered out of the room, every nun available flocking to your side. Despite the overwhelming emotions building in him, Diluc lets you go, waiting with as much patience as he can muster, which isn't a lot at that moment.
It takes about an hour before a sister approaches him, every second that he waited excruciating. She tells him that while your face was unharmed, you having managed to lean out of the way just in time, your upper arm, shoulder and the base of your neck on your left side were burned pretty bad and that scarring was almost guaranteed.
"But are they alive?" is all he asks in return. He cares that you were hurt, but he cares more to know if you'll live to spend another day with him. All the sister can do is nod, informing him that recovery will be slow, but you are alive. She adds right after that while you passed out from everything he was still allowed to enter and sit by your side. So, he does.
The nun didn't lie when she told him that things would be slow. It took several days before you could be discharged, and even when you were the days and nights that followed were filled with more torture than the usual joy.
Your burns would irritate at the slightest things, and you started to doubt your looks, wondering if your husband would still love you by the end when the wounds were all healed. At night you were haunted by nightmares of your time in captivity, and by the face of the abyss spell that burned you. It didn't help that the face was red and fluffy, just like Diluc's hair, leaving you to back away from him every time you woke up from that recurring dream, your mind tricking you that that thing had come back.
And all Diluc could do was hold you close to his chest once you saw that it was just him. He'd rub a warm hand along your back as you sobbed and shivered, quietly blaming himself for not being fast enough - to find you, to defeat the enemy, to get you out of the way of the fight. If he had been, if he succeeded in any of those things, then maybe you wouldn't have to live with this pain and trauma.
You were alive, but at what cost?
———
Childe, who was all the way in Inazuma for a mission.
Your husband left you that fateful day with a tight hug, a promise to come home and a kiss on the lips. As he walked further and further away from you all you could think about was greeting him in the same fashion. Your touch was his favourite thing after all, a reminder that you're there with him and that you love him despite all his wrongdoings.
The day came when Ajax set foot back in his homeland, and the first thing he did was search for you at the dock. When he didn't spot you, he'll admit he was a little disappointed but didn't think much of it. You were most likely just relaxing at home.
Yet, when he walked through the door he couldn’t find you anywhere. “Strange… where could they have gone? Maybe mom and dad’s?”
A quick trip over there reveals nothing however, just the tidbit of information from his mother on how it’s been a couple days since you’ve visited and that you last told them you were needing to chop some firewood.
Now he was not only confused but a sense of dread plagued his chest. Hoping it’s just his normal worrying, Ajax bids farewell to his family and heads back home. Sure enough, he spotted some stacked logs off to the side. What didn’t make sense though was the lack of an axe and the footprints that lead further into the tree line behind your home.
Following the tracks, the male’s eyes widen and his expression falls as the patterns in the snow go from clean prints to frantic clusters, as if you began running. What really injected fear into him though was the barely visible Treasure Hoarder insignia buried in the snow, its gold sheen glistening from the sun.
At this point his feet had a mind of their own as he picked up the pace, his mind running a mile a minute with the scariest thoughts his brain could conjure.
He wasn’t sure if he should've been relieved or frightened when he found you lying in the snow. Either way, he sprinted the rest of the way to you, calling out your name. You were on your side, back to him; you must’ve rolled into the fetal position to stay warm.
And that’s when he noticed it, the pink tint of the usually pure white snow surrounding your fallen form. Panic shoots through him as he rolls you onto your back, his hand recoiling at the state you were in, covering his mouth.
"No..." your cold gaze stares up at the sky, skin lacking the warmth he craves after a long day. Between the folds of your undone coat reveals where most, if not all the blood flowed from, now dry from days passed. With a shaky hand, he moves the cloth aside, surveying the damage.
The cut was deep but didn't hit anything major from the looks of it... you would have bleed out slow and painfully, and the mere idea makes him sick to his stomach. More and more he looks at the damage done to you and the more his blood boils and his heart stutterers. You were innocent, his spouse, his best friend, you had no intimate dealings with Fatui work, so why you?
His eyes narrow back in the direction of the insignia, the sorrow morphing into anger; they were fucking cowards, going after you instead of him. At the sanctuary of your home no less.
Looking back at the body that once housed your soul, he noticed something odd about your hand. It was clasped shut like you were holding onto something.
He starts to pry your fingers open, and for just a moment he can imagine that you're alive, back in the warmth of your home, grasping his scarf in a game of keep away. He'd pull you close, wrapping an arm around you and trapping you to his chest, grasping your wrist and trying to get the red fabric from you. Your husband would laugh merrily, "demanding" that you give him it back or else, to which you'd tell him no, because as long as you had it then he couldn't leave for the day.
When your palm finally opens up is the same moment time really stops and the world doesn't feel real around him. Picking up the small object, Ajax clasps it in his own hands, bringing it close to his chest - his heart - in hopes of feeling just the last bit of you left behind. He won't ever know this, but what he's doing now was exactly what you did in your final hour - you held the tangible promise you made with him close to you, your thoughts filled with him and only him as you took your last breath.
From that day onwards, your wedding ring rests against his collarbone, a string looped through it. He never takes it off, nor does he remove his own ring, because to him, you were the only one fit to take the place at his side in life. He doesn't want anyone else to love him, because no one could ever love or hold him in such high regard like you did.
It was everything or nothing, and you are his everything. Since you're gone, he'll gladly settle for nothing. Anything else and he'd label himself a cheater to your love.
———
Cyno, who prioritized catching the mastermind, lest any more innocents get hurt.
The General Mahamatra trudged back through the desert sands, clouds of dust trailing behind him. His grip was tight against the criminal’s wrists, leaving no room for escape. While part of him was solely focused on the captured mastermind, another part of him was thinking about you and how he's going to make it up to you for neglecting you the last few weeks. How could he ever possibly thank you or repay you for your neverending patience?
Rounding the last rock, Cyno finally makes it back to where he left you, having instructed you to wait there until he returned. You know that it was vital to stay put, so why is it that you've disappeared? Eyes red like the sunset scan the camp, finding that nothing was missing among your personal belongings or supplies.
As he continued to try and piece together the clues, you stood frozen in the shadows, an arm pulling you against a chest, keeping you in place. The hand over your mouth didn't help quell your fear, nor did the warm, rancid breath that tickled your neck.
How hard do you have to stare at the back of your lover's head for him to just turn in your direction!? Apparently very hard, because no matter how much you will a telepathic message his way, he still fails to find you. Tears begin to slide down your face - is this really it? Will this be the end? When he's so close to you? Will he turn and walk in the wrong direction, giving the man holding you time to escape with you in tow?
The looming threat that if you step out of line you risk harming yourself and Cyno plays in your mind, but you also remember nights lying in bed with your husband, whispering reassurance to him that no matter the situation you knew he'd always save you. You had full confidence in his abilities.
Gathering your resolve you take a leap of faith and elbow your captor, biting the hand that impairs your voice. Making a mad dash from the hiding spot, you scream for Cyno, watching as his head whips in your direction.
It all happened so fast after that. One second there's just you, him and the two Eremites and in the next, you're surrounded. The mastermind Cyno had been holding manages to retch his arms free, whistling a tune causing other desert dwellers to pop up from seemingly nowhere. A capture net is being thrown over you, aiming true and trapping you once more. Cyno, now flanked from all sides, can only watch helplessly as two men grasp the ends of the net, dragging you like you're nothing but a sack of goods.
You squirm with all your might, but it does nothing as you're effortlessly tossed in a caravan, screaming and sobbing for your husband. Amidst the scuffle, the leader orders the others to "shut them up" and right after a powder is poured on you, the effects taking seconds to kick in.
You begin to quiet until you slump on your side, and Cyno feels the urgency build even more. He channels all the strength he has into at least breaking through to get to you, but the moment he does the snap of reins echoes out and the cart takes off.
So, he runs, because for once something much for valuable that his life is on the line. Because he can't afford to let the bad guy get away this time.
But a man cannot match the pace of a horse, and it isn't long before his stamina reaches its limit and he stumbles, and you disappear over the horizon.
———
Wriothesley, who believed he could save everyone.
By no means was the warden of the Fortress of Meropide lacking in skills. He's proven time and time again that he's worthy of the title of Duke among the underwater structure, able to shoulder the responsibility of keeping each and every inmate well cared for and as comfortable as possible.
Perhaps that was the reason he's failing now to protect those he really cares for, for you were no inmate, but rather the person he swore to spend the rest of his life with.
He knew that this day would come, but he was still so, so unprepared for it. The damn seal was due to break sooner or later, and it chose today of all days to do so. The evacuation was quick, maybe even quicker than the first one, but there was one difference this time around. Today was also the day that a couple Melusines had come in Monsieur Neuvillette's place, delivering some reports to Wriothesley while also taking this time to speak with Sigewinne.
"Where are they?" The Duke grits his teeth, running through every area he can reach. You weren't far behind, having insisted a second pair of eyes was better than one. When another room turned up empty he slammed his first into the wall, cursing loudly.
You did another look through in the places he missed before sighing, placing a hand on his chest, "We'll find them Wrio. Take a deep breath, please." He stares at you for a moment, doing as you suggested. You offer a small smile, "There aren't many rooms left, they've gotta be here."
"I know," he sighs, running a hand through his messy hair, "but we're running out of time."
Just as he says that the building rumbles and shakes, the sound of a pipe bursting in the distance sending fear through your body. All it takes is a shared look for you two to start running again, eyes and ears sharp as you try to catch even the slightest signs of life.
There were only two rooms left to check when you heard a call, not by a Melusine but by a pair of inmates. Turning to look, your stress levels spike.
“Shit, this isn’t good,” Wriothesley mutters, surveying the situation the moment you both made it over. One of the inmates was trapped underneath a metal panel, and his buddy wasn’t strong enough to lift it off him on his own.
They plead for help and you can see the cool grey eyes of your lover start to unfocus, a million thoughts passing through his mind. Time is running out, and as he's internally about to lose his cool the sound of your voice brings him back.
Laying a hand on his shoulder you squeeze firmly, "Listen, how about we split up? You deal with this and I go find the Melusines. We'll be faster that way."
His eyes widen at your proposition, and he doesn't even have to think twice about denying, "Now, hold on just a-!"
Another tremor, and you have to harden your tone to get your point across, “We don’t have time Wriothesley, help them and I’ll search the two rooms. When you’re done get them out of here, I won’t be far behind!”
He wants to say no, wants you to get to the surface and he'll take care of the inmate and missing Melusines, but as he looks at the crumbling Fortress he finds himself biting his lips before nodding. "You better stay safe, or else."
You smile, turning and disappearing into the second last room. A quick search proves nothing and when you leave you see your husband beginning to pull out the stuck inmate. You're able to meet gazes for a moment only to break it off, rushing into the last room.
It's easy to spot the brightly coloured blue beings amongst the dreary Fortress walls. "Thank Archons!" You sigh, almost tripping over your feet in your hurry to get them, scooping them up in your arms, "we have to go now you two!"
There's a groan of metal and the clatter of something collapsing in the distance, and it's safe to say you didn't waste time sprinting out of there. As you pass where you last saw your husband, there's a momentary wave of relief at seeing him no longer lingering there. You know then that he's gotten out, and that he's probably waiting anxiously for you.
The thought pushes you to get out faster, jumping over any puddles that have formed or debris. But just because you can jump doesn't mean you can dodge.
One piece then two fell from above, but when you look up dread courses through you upon the realization that a good section of the roof is about to drop. You acted before you could fully think and tossed the two tiny beings in your arms, sprinting just a little faster before leaping yourself. You're glad you managed to throw them out of the collapse zone, but you weren't so lucky, your leg getting trapped from midway to your knee and down under the pile of rubble. All it took was one attempt at tugging your leg out to know it was stuck under there good.
"Go," you pointed in the direction of the exit, immediately beginning to dig yourself out. The least you could do was get them to safety. The Melusines however hesitated, looking at each other before looking at you again. You knew they weren't strong enough to lift anything off you, so you repeated the one-word order, adding that you'd be right behind them.
You hear more than you see them run off, and after a minute of struggling you manage to free yourself, continuing towards the exit.
Wriothesley didn't stick around the entrance, instead busying himself with checking on everyone. If he didn't then he'd go mad and rush back in to get you. As he made another round he spotted the two creatures of the sea clutching onto the Iudex, their heads buried in his neck. If they were safe, then you must've made it out too, right?
Wriothesley gives the order to close the Fortress of Meropide off completely, and he watches unaware as he cages you in. It's only by chance that, once he's almost to the surface, he looks out the window of his escape submarine and through one of the windows of the Fortress. The horror sets in.
Even if it's useless, you stumble and limp up to the glass, banging on it, screaming for him. You're not sure what he'd do though, maybe you just wanted to see him one last time, wanted to tell him you love him, that it's not his fault. You stare at him, tears streaming down your face before turning your back to the ocean and sliding down to the ground.
Even if he can't hear you, you whisper out your love for him, how you'd never hold this against him. You pray to the Archons, to the Traveler, to Neuvillette, to Clorinde to watch over him for you.
You eye the rising water, and to make it just a little more bearable you pretend it's the first time you got Wriothesley to go swimming with you. You had dip your toes in first, as a show that the water wouldn't bite. He wasn't scared of the water, and he knew how to swim; he wasn't ashamed of the scars on his body either. No, he refused to go swimming back then because he didn't want to freeze, and it took you and the trust he placed in your word to tell him the water was perfect.
So, you repeat that same action, imagining Wriothesley is right beside you like that day years ago.
From the water pod, your husband watches frozen as you vanish in an instant, continuing to watch as the water rises until it's above the height of the glass. In that single moment, most of the warmth in his heart vanishes along with you.
"You promised you'd be safe... I trusted you..."
It was the first and last time any prisoner would see the almighty Wriothesley cry out, for he swore sometime later that he'd close off his heart and never let anyone get as close as you did. He knows deep down that's not what you'd want, but he knew he could never go through the same pain again and still continue to live.
———
Zhongli, who you were fighting side by side with.
It's always been like that, you and him up in arms against the world. It was like that in the Archon War, in the Cataclysm and any other time someone threatened the safety of the Lord of Geo's territory. You had his back and he had yours, something that only grew stronger as your relationship developed from war buddies to friends then finally to lovers.
It was... naive of you both to think that you'd be able to spend eternity together without issue. You were too blinded by the fact that you were both going to withstand time and he believed that there was no way he'd fail to protect you, not with the strength he possessed.
Your downfall was not due to time or a lack of strength, but rather your own desire to keep the man you love safe from harm.
Zhongli did not see the sword pierce your skin, but he did hear the strangled cry you let out. He felt the fear wash over him, he saw the bloody aftermath as you fell forward into him, no longer able to hold yourself upright.
Instinctively he wraps his arms around you, sinking to the grass with you. Crimson stains his hands and clothes fast as if the wound was his own and he knows right then that your time together is limited.
The pain you feel is searing and with each breath you take you're fighting to keep that air in your lungs long enough to get more. Your husband spoke softly as he stroked your shoulder, "Why did you take the hit for me?"
When you looked up into his warm, amber eyes you knew then that this was the last time he'd hold you, the last time you'd speak with one another. How interesting it is that you both realized at different points that this was the end.
"You..." you cough, body trembling in his hold and Zhongli almost regrets asking you to speak. He just wants to make you comfortable in your last moments, to act as if everything is okay. "You... were going to get hurt."
The man you knew to never weep lets a single tear slide down his face, a light chuckle getting stuck in his throat, "ah, how like you to put me above yourself. I'm the same way with you, so I suppose I can't point fingers, now can I?"
“No… you can’t,” you smile back, but it’s tough to force it through the pain. You cough again and this time a little blood comes up as well.
It’s getting harder and harder to breathe as the seconds tick by. “Morax.”
The former Archon stiffens; you rarely ever call him by his real name unless you're serious about something. "Yes, my dear? What is it?" When he sees you trying to lift your hand to his cheek, Zhongli dips his head, placing his own hand over yours.
Glazed eyes watch as you swallow, stuttering on your own breath, "I'm... I'm very proud of the man you've become compared to the Archon I first met. I'm very proud of the things you've done for Liyue, and I'm grateful for the things you've done for me."
Your eyes droop a little, and he knows your time to depart is near when he sees you rest your head against him more and with the way he has to hold up your hand for it to stay resting on his cheek. He swears he won't let you slip away until you've said your final peace.
"I... I need you to promise me something Morax."
"You know I will always do my best to honour your wishes," he tells you, his grip tightening on your hand. A sudden breeze picks up, blowing his hair in such an elegant way that your face softens, never not amazed by his beauty. Tranquillity washes over you, and it may sound crazy, but the scent the wind brought to you smelt like home, like a simpler time in your life.
All other sounds are drowned out, the wind blowing them far away so he could hear you clearly, "You have to find happiness again... even though I won't be there for you. Can... can you promise me that?"
He pulls you impossibly closer, removing your hand just to place a gentle kiss on your palm before returning it to its place, "I promise." In that moment he feels like he's lied to you, for he believes he'll never truly recover from your death, but that doesn't mean he won't try for you. And as you smile up at him for the last time, Morax feels that he could live with his answer to you.
Much like his friends of old, he knows he'll see you in the little things around the city - a lantern, a blooming flower, a cup of tea, the fires in fireplaces - as if you're watching over him. He'll continue to walk forward as everything passes him by, mingling with the ever-changing people and culture and surrounding himself with friends, because that's what he promised you, and he wants you to see that even when you're not by his side to experience it yourself.
"I'm happy now, see? But I will never be as happy as I was with you"
Tag list (both regular and event exclusive): @spoopy-fish-writes // @that-enby-alien // @xenuuu // @kaeyaloml // @x-zho // @mariposa666haruka // @quackquackmfs // @kunikuzushiii // @genshin-impact-writings // @ventisweetheart // @lordbugs @leena-shi // @ari-the-wr1ter // @xiaos-wife // @milkwithspiceyicecubes // @stygianoir // @francisnyx
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@kaiserkisser // @multipleshadesofblue // @moloteco-real // @kithewanderingme // @scaramood
#val’s nsn#genshin impact#genshin x reader#diluc x reader#childe x reader#cyno x reader#ayato x reader#wriothesley x reader#zhongli x reader#genshin angst#genshin x reader angst#diluc x gender neutral reader#childe x gender neutral reader#cyno x gender neutral reader#ayato x gender neutral reader#wriothesley x gender neutral reader#zhongli x gender neutral reader#ayato x you#diluc x you#childe x you#cyno x you#wriothesley x you#zhongli x you
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If people in general can understand that someone watching a horror movie might jump in their chair, have their heart rate go up, and feel nervous, even though there is no actual threat in the room, then why can't they understand the same is true for people experiencing psychosis?
They are similar, you are seeing something that isn't actually real, you may believe it's real or not, but either way you will react as if it were real because your brain can't help it. The difference is the person in psychosis isn't seeing it through the safety of a screen, isn't prepared for it and can't immediately turn it off if they want to.
So why is it so hard for people to understand why people in psychosis will react like they are actually experiencing something? Anyone would jump back if an elephant suddenly appeared in front of them. Or be very nervous if they hear their name called when they are home alone. So why are people in psychosis expected to not react, or stop reacting when someone tells them it isn't real?
It really shows a lack of sympathy from people who haven't experienced psychosis, for them to expect us to not have reactions. We are expected to somehow suppress our brains natural reactions, simply for other people's comfort. This applies even more to people of color and homeless people. We are expected to fit the status quo, even when our brains are experiencing something as real.
I say all this to say, try to consider the experience of people with psychosis if you haven't. Don't gawk at people reacting to something you don't see. Try not to fear the homeless person talking to someone that isn't actually there. Don't make fun of, or judge people for reacting to something they are experiencing, just because you don't experience it.
#schizophrenia#mental illness#nd#neurodivergent#schizophrenic#psychosis#actuallyschizophrenic#mental health awareness#pseriouslypsychotic#hallucinations#delusions#schizophrenia awarness#psychosis awarness
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Can't Leave Me
Pairing: Dark Hawks x (female) Reader
▶ This is a yandere/dark work and it may contain triggering content so please READ THE WARNINGS before. Do not read if minor.
More at Masterlist
Female Reader
SUMMARY: Seeing a darker side of Keigo has you rethinking your entire relationship. But it’s not like Keigo is planning on letting you go.
WARNINGS: Murder; Kidnapping.
AN: Please, reblog and give me feedback.
–
His hand rubs comforting circles over the expanse of your back, innumerous apologies being mumbled as he kisses the crown of your head.
“I should’ve eased you into it. I‘m so sorry, baby.” his tone is apologetic, almost regretful, but you can’t be bothered by that.
Not after what you witnessed.
The queasiness in your stomach increases, and you swallow hard, closing your eyes in a poor attempt to control both yourself and the wave of nausea that threatens to rise.
“Next time, I promise I’ll let you know beforehand, ‘kay? No more nasty surprises, I promise.” his cooing has you pushing your palms against the edge of the marble kitchen island, and you take a few stumbling steps backwards.
“I really thought you’d like to see my patriotic work.”
“You…” his golden eyes squint for a second when you dodge his hand from touching your arm, “That man-”
“He’s no one. Just some fucking dirtbag I caught the other day on patrol. No one even cares that he’s gone, if that makes you feel better.”
You look at him in bewilderment, unable to believe his words. Was Keigo - always so sweet and gentleman - trying to convince you that killing people was fine? That it was okay for his basement to have pools of blood and pieces of human limbs?
The pungent smell of fresh blood is still haunting your nose and you scrunch it, remembering the nasty scene your boyfriend presented you.
When Keigo asked you to come to his house, telling you he had a surprise stored in his basement for you, your mind wandered to the idea of receiving a sweet gift.
Maybe a painting or a bracelet, anything with a romantic meaning. A normal thing.
But when Keigo took you to his basement, chest inflated with pride at what he called “city scum cleaning” it wasn’t at all what you expected.
“You’re worrying too much.” he sighs, his wings ruffling behind him. “I’m cleaning the city from the filthy scum, nothing else.”
“They’re human beings, Keigo. You can’t take justice into your own hands, that’s not your job.”
Keigo only shrugs his shoulders, disinterested at your attempt to bring some conscience to him.
“I know this upsetted you, baby, so why don’t we change the subject? How about we start making dinner and then watch a movie? I know you’re excited to see that new action movie, right?”
His proposition makes you feel sick to your stomach for more reasons than one, but the realization that your boyfriend is trying to distract you from the fact that he’s a serial killer is too much.
You need to leave. Immediately.
But you’re scared. Terrified of becoming Keigo’s new addition to his basement, if he realizes that you’re not on his side. You’re not sure if he loves enough to spare you from such destiny.
You’re not sure of anything anymore.
You shift the weight from one foot to the other, eyes drifting to the kitchen door.
“I think…” your voice shakes, and you attempt to clear your throat, “Maybe I should go, Keigo. I’m not…feeling great.”
His expression drops for a moment, cold anger being replaced with feigned sympathy so quickly that you almost believe you imagined it.
“Sweet cheeks, if you’re not feeling well, then you can just sleep over.” he takes a minuscule step in your direction, his wings stretching behind him for a moment. Demonstrating their enormous size before he pulls them back.
A not very subtle threat.
“I can prepare a warm bath for you, and then get you in bed with some painkillers. How about that?”
You shake your head, feeling helpless.
“No, Keigo, it’s fine, really. I can just go home and-”
“Nonsense. Besides, I don’t like the idea of you all alone in your apartment, especially if you’re feeling sick.” he brushes you off, “I can’t have you puking or passing out when you’re on your own. What kind of boyfriend would that make me, am I right?”
A few of his feathers gracefully fly in your direction, gently but effectively pushing you forward.
The conflict inside your mind only fires up, but you’re hardly able to bitterly swallow down all the shabby excuses and useless begging that would only result in angering Keigo.
Your body bumps against his and Keigo instantly wraps his arm around your waist, replacing the feathers that rejoin his wings.
He kisses your cheek with an arm tightly gripping your waist, as if he’s waiting for you to bolt and run away. You’d be lying if you say the idea doesn’t seem awfully tempting.
Maybe if he looks away or gets distracted…maybe then you could take the chance.
“C’mon, let’s get you a bath, ‘kay? You’re really not looking too good.”
The melancholic moonlight hits you in the face, seeping through the locked window. Your eyes are wide open, despite the ungodly time of the night. It’s quiet now, aside from the light cricket’s sounds and the occasional car speeding up through the street.
You barely move your head as you glance towards the fluorescent numbers of the digital clock on the bedside table next to you, careful enough to shift as little as you can.
The arm draped across your waist feels like a rope, keeping you bound to Keigo.
But it’s better than the red wing that lays wide open in all of its immense size, acting as a second blanket to your body, caging you to the bed with its oppressive weight.
Despite your objections of becoming too hot during the night, Keigo still insisted on covering your body with it, shutting you down with a gentle kiss.
He sleeps soundly, his chest a few inches away from your chest, his deep calm breathing hitting your ear and neck.
You can’t sleep. Your mind is too bothered, too upset to even consider something as futile as sleeping when there are more urgent necessities. Such as escaping this house.
Keigo fell into a deep slumber a few hours ago while you remained awake, thinking about your next steps. You have to leave the bed, leave the house, leave him.
But even the last step seems complicated when you can’t even pull yourself out of the bed - out of Keigo’s suffocating embrace.
You’re frozen with fear, you begrudgingly admit. Scared of accidentally waking Keigo up and in the process, to wake a side of him that you don’t want to see.
You have to do this.
The first step is to test the waters.
You take a deep breath, slowly shifting your body, your hand gently pushing his arm down and away from you. Nothing happens.
Your heartbeat speeds up as you embrace yourself for the final step.
Looking down at the impending problem of escaping the red wing, you take the decision to slide underneath it.
It’s awkward and embarrassing when you weirdly dive underneath the wing, squishing yourself against the bed as you try to touch the feathers as little as you can. They don’t pulse or move, remaining completely still as you make your escape.
A relieved sigh gets caught in your throat when your feet touch the floor. Just a little more, you think, bending your body to slide down the curve of the bed.
Premature hope makes your breathe faster. Maybe you can actually get away.
Oh god, you’re actually going to get away.
Your whole body freezes for a scary moment when Keigo mumbles a few incoherent words, shifting and turning in bed, but thankfully he remains asleep. You can breathe again.
It’s a bit hard to walk in the darkness, only the dim light of the moon helping you guide yourself, as your feet take baby steps and you prod the walls with your hands until you finally find the closet room.
The door creaks slightly as you slowly close it, and you hold your breath for a moment. Nothing happens.
You open the light, hoping it doesn’t infiltrate through the door’s crack and search the place with your eyes, looking for your clothes. Keigo kept them there before handing you one of his shirts earlier in the night, saying that it would be more comfortable for you to sleep in his clothes than in your outer clothes.
It’s easy to find your shirt and pants, both of them tucked away in a corner of the room, the evident contrast between Keigo’s expensive clothing and your cheap casual outfit standing out.
You quickly put them on, looking around for your purse before remembering that you had left it in the kitchen. Fuck.
You close the light, and silently leave the closet.
“Babe.”
Your blood runs cold at the sight of Keigo casually standing in front of you, arms crossed in his chest. There’s no anger in his face - nor sleepiness, you notice - but there are hints of annoyance. Did he really expect you not to try and run?
“I’m kinda disappointed, I gotta say.” he shakes his head with a tired sigh. “I was really hoping you wouldn’t do anything stupid tonight. Guess I was wrong.”
“I wasn’t-” your words lose strength, and for a moment, the idea of dashing for the door with all of your speed seems incredibly enticing, “It’s not what you think.”
“Yeah? Pfft, c’mon, you seriously think you’re gonna fool me into believing any crappy excuse? Like I didn’t just catch you trying to sneak off on me?” he clicks his tongue, messy strands of blonde hair falling onto his forehead, “But you know what?”
It’s now. The moment he switches the flip on you and beats you and-
“Let’s continue this tomorrow, alright? It’s late, so how about we sleep on this and in the morning, we’ll talk.”
You look at him, surprised. Isn’t he gonna drag you by the hair to his basement and beat you?
Keigo directs you back to the closet, watching as you hesitate to change back into his shirt.
“That was never gonna work, you know that, right?” he says. “It’s not like you could outrun me. I’m too fast for you, with or without quirk.”
When you get back on the bed, his wing covers you once again and his arm pulls you flush against his chest, suffocating you with his presence.
He kisses the nape of your neck.
“Sleep tight.”
You wake up startled, mind buzzing with a chilling nightmare. Red blood and sticky viscera follow you even though you rise away from the realm of dreams.
You breathe in. It was just a dream.
Distant sounds coming from another room catch your attention and you remain quiet, catching the tiny rays of sunlight that come through the curtains, basking on pacific solitude.
What are you supposed to do now? Relent and pretend that everything is peachy, to act as if the basement isn’t torture chamber and that your boyfriend isn’t some cold-hearted killer?
You roll to the side, yelping when your leg gets caught on.
A chain.
A soft leather wrapped tightly around your ankle, connecting it to the links of metal that keep you in a short leash. There’s barely any length to it, meaning you won’t even be able to reach the bathroom if you need to.
This can’t be real.
You persistently rub your eyes, shaking your head as fear threatens to spill in the shape of a panic attack.
Keigo wouldn’t do this. He can’t do this. He just can’t.
Much to your consternation, you don’t wake up. This isn’t some wicked dream, after all.
“No, no, please, no.” you cry, pulling and tugging on the solid chain with both of your hands. It doesn’t work, despite all the clicking it does. Doesn’t so much as move away from your ankle.
But it does make a shrilling noise and soon Keigo rushes into the room, a worried expression on his face before he understands what you’re doing.
He plops next to you, firm hands pulling your shaky ones away from the chain, despite you not giving up and you yelp when he uses his strength to expertly twist your wrist, forcing you to let go of the chain.
“Keigo, please, don’t…don’t do this. I promise I won’t run away, I swear!” you plead, snot and tears pathetically dripping down your face as Keigo pulls you into his lap, a large hand securing both of your wrists.
“Keigo…”
“Shh, it’s okay. Everything is fine, it’s all okay.”
It only makes you cry harder. One of his hands rubs your back while the other holds the back of your neck, pushing your face to his chest.
“C’mon, don’t cry. You know how awful that makes me feel.” he presses a gentle kiss to your head, rocking your bodies back and forth, comforting you as if you were a child throwing a tantrum.
“You left me no choice. You were gonna leave me, abandon me like I never meant anything to you.” his voice is almost quiet and you know that if you looked up, his face would resemble a kicked puppy.
It almost makes you feel bad until the stupid chain in your ankle clinks, reminding you that Keigo isn’t a good man.
“But it’s okay now. I know you’re not happy with… our current situation, but you’ll soon see it my way. I’m doing this for you - for us.”
His arms tightened around your wriggling body, keeping you close to him.
“I’m not letting anything get between us. Not even you.”
#@mrsdarkandyandere7#yandere bnha#yandere mnha#dark bnha#yandere my hero academia#bnha x reader#mha x reader#yandere x reader#hawks x reader#yandere hawks#yandere hawks x reader#yandere!hawks x reader#dark hawks x reader#yandere keigo takami#yandere keigo takami x reader#yandere keigo x reader#tw: yandere#tw: kidnapping
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lobos, we cannot stop hunting
summary: the full moon comes and you insist on staying with your best friend despite his valiant warnings to make you run away from him... pairing: werewolf!chan x reader genre: smut, fantasy, best friends to lovers warnings: *takes a deep breath* heat suppressants, hugging, werewolf transformation, kissing, making out, hair-pulling, eating out, begging, fingering, overstimulation, consent is established multiple times, slightly mean dom!chan but overall a sweetheart, praise+degradation, size kink (duh), unprotected sex on the floor, knotting, breeding kink, mating *exhales* author's note: happy halloween, baby stays!!! 🐺 make sure to get some yummy treats and always remember to say the magic words please and thank you 😈 but ESPECIALLY please as the king of the wolves taught us 😉🛐 word count: 1.8k
"It's a full moon tonight," your werewolf best friend Chan says.
"So?" you murmur, not even bothering to look up from your phone. Those F1 reels that keep popping up on your feed are so interesting! "You've got your pills and stuff? You'll be fine, same as always."
"I ran out, actually," Chan scratches the back of his head nervously.
You put down your phone. Sorry, sexy F1 guys, you can wait.
"Can't you get more?" you ask him.
"No, my doctor is out of town. It's his anniversary with his wife and his phone is turned off."
"Goddamnit, Chan, and you tell me that now?" you are immediately worried about your best friend.
Before he started these pills, Chan told you that the full moon was like really bad on him. As in, he was completely out of control and had these...urges that he had to take care of by himself. Basically, he was in a lot of pain. He's been using these pills for the last two years and they've been working miraculously. Chan was pretty much like a human during the usually dangerous for werewolves full moon. Thankfully, his doctor has been very helpful in giving him plenty of these amazing pills.
"I'm sorry...I thought I had one left but I must have miscalculated."
"Chan, I keep telling you to write these stuff down in advance," you shake your head. "What are you going to do tonight?"
"Suffer through it, I guess. I was just giving you a heads-up so you can get out of here...like right about now."
"What? No way I'm leaving you alone!" you argue passionately. "What if you die?"
"Uh, I'm pretty sure I won't. But you don't get it, without my pills, I could unwittingly put you in danger. My best chance to make sure I'm not a menace to civilized society is to lock the door and tie myself up or something."
"That sounds horrible!" you cry out, feeling intense sympathy for your best friend. "I don't want to leave you alone."
"You have to!" Chan insists. "I would hate myself if I hurt you."
"You won't!" you keep trying to persuade him. "I trust you more than anyone else in the universe."
Chan shakes his head, still hesitant.
"Please, you should leave before the moon comes up."
Little does he know it has already begun to rise...
"No, I'm not leaving you," you keep saying and wrap your arms around him.
Chan desperately tries to push you away. But it is too late.
As the moon's power grows, so does his. The only thing that prevents you from continuing to embrace him is his oncoming transformation. Your arms fall weakly to your side as you witness the impossible. His generally tender, adorable features quickly turn into sharp, wolflike and kind of intimidating ones, if you have to be honest. But this is your best friend, your Chan, you keep reminding yourself. And all the fear disappears from your body. As you kneel down next to him, you run your hand through his soft fur, trying to pet him.
He initially snarls and tries to scare you off but the more you insist, the more he relaxes under your gentle touch. God, you can't believe he was afraid he'd harm you. He's just...a big puppy.
You can't resist the temptation and you hug him again. He's so fluffy you're gonna die! And then, the unimaginable happens. He fucking purrs! Oh dear, if you had already been having a hard time trying to hide your feelings for your best friend, then seeing him like this would surely be your demise.
Then, unexpectedly, he shifts back to his human form, taking you by surprise. One, because that was faster than you'd expected. Two, because he's entirely naked, but doesn't seem perturbed by it. You try your best to look him in the eyes because uh...you're still not sure where this is going.
"Please, go, I don't think I can control myself any longer," Chan begs.
"Control what?" you're so confused. "I already witnessed you in your wolf form, you seem pretty chill."
"It's not my wolf form you should be scared of," Chan warns darkly.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, if you don't get out of my sight in the next ten seconds, I'll fuck you until you pass out. And maybe even after that."
Oh? Wait...OH!!!
"Was that supposed to be a threat or a promise?" you quirk your eyebrows at him.
"Hold on, don't tell me you're actually excited by the prospect?" Chan wants to make sure.
"I mean...don't threaten me with a good time," you shrug calmly.
Chan kneels next to you, grabbing your hands tightly.
"I'm serious right now, don't play with me."
"What makes you think I'm not serious? I trust you, I want you, I lo- Uh, I like you a lot, whatever you do, that won't change," you mentally curse yourself for almost saying the big L-word. You hope he didn't catch that.
Judging from Chan's expression, he seems pretty satisfied with your statement.
"Well, don't say I didn't warn you," he whispers and kisses you harshly, biting your lips and making a mess.
Your mouths are linked by an unending streak of saliva, but honestly you couldn't care less as he claims you, pushing his tongue deeper down your throat, gripping your hair with his fingers for better access. You are already melting. You spoke too soon. You are definitely not ready for this. But you wouldn't be able to make him stop, even if you wanted to.
"Last chance," Chan breaks the kiss to give you the opportunity to back out. To get out of here while you still can.
"Do your worst," you challenge him recklessly and he kisses you again, even harder than before if that is possible.
You know that your best friend, despite his shy and cute demeanour, is physically stronger and bigger than you, but seeing him like this, completely losing control is such a thrill you make sure to commit the picture to memory as vividly as you can.
Chan takes off your clothes in a hurry and just like a hungry wolf, attacks your pussy. And starts devouring it as if it's his last meal on Earth. He doesn't even make the effort to get to the couch, which is so close. He just takes you right there, on the floor. You shake uncontrollably, but he grips your thighs to stop you from moving.
"Please, please, please," you keep repeating even though you have no idea what you're asking for. For him to keep going? For him to stop? You don't know anymore.
"I like it when you beg," Chan smirks against your folds and dives back in, swimming in your water.
It doesn't take you long to burst, completely letting go for him.
"Fuck, you're so beautiful," he praises you, not giving you time to recover and tracing circles around your entrance with his big fingers.
"No, you," you whisper weakly, trying to make him slow down by pushing his hand away. Needless to say, your efforts are in vain. "I'm s-sensitive."
Chan laughs cruelly.
"You can take it," his words are meant to be reassuring but they're not, as he sticks his finger inside of you.
It's just one but it's already so thick you are beginning to lose your mind.
"C-chan, p-please," you cry for him.
"What is it, sweetheart? You want another?" he mocks your lack of coherence and adds a second finger without waiting for your approval.
"N-no, I c-can't," you shake your head desperately.
"Yes, you can," Chan seems fully convinced, adding a third finger. "You're so tiny, gotta stretch you up real good to be able to take my cock next. Don't you want that, babygirl?"
"Yes, I want it," you are quick to agree and do your best to relax for his big fingers.
"Gonna let me take this sweet pussy with my wolf cock? Claim you as mine? Give you my pups?" he asks gently, his unrestrained actions in complete contrast with his sweet words.
"Yes, yes! Gonna let you breed me like the stupid bitch I am," you answer, degrading yourself in the process.
"That's what I like to hear, darling," Chan praises you and makes you come again on his fingers.
You are almost about to pass out. But somehow you manage to hold on for the next part. You want to feel it. Every second of it.
"Are you sure?" he asks once again, melting your heart.
"I've never been more sure about anything in my life," you reaffirm your belief in him.
Chan doesn't wait for a second offer and slides his cock inside of you. Fucking hell, if you thought his fingers were pretty huge, his manhood is on a whole different level. You try to adjust to his monstrous size and focus on his beautiful eyes instead. He's still your Chan, your sweet-
"Fuck, your pussy's so small, gonna rip you in half," Chan grunts loudly.
Okay, not so sweet after all.
"Please, don't. Or do, it's fine by me," you attempt to make a joke.
He laughs and kisses you again, going in deeper. You wrap your hands around his neck in a tremendous effort to ground you, help you remain conscious through it all.
"You'd like that, wouldn't you?" Chan keeps talking meanly. "Want me to ruin that tiny pussy of yours?"
"Yes, yes, I want it all," you repeat mindlessly, not caring about the consequences anymore.
Then, as if by some miracle, you feel his cock growing even more while inside of you. Is that even possible? You thought it was just a myth.
Luckily, you're wetter than ever and your pussy easily swallows his knot.
"Gonna fuck you full of my cum, make you my mate, is that okay?" Chan wants to be sure.
"It's okay, Chan, I'll be your mate," you promise, not even sure what that means. But whatever it is, you're fine with it, as long as it's with Chan...
Then, he releases his wolf seed inside of your pussy, making you feel so full, so warm, so complete.
"Take it, baby, I know you can," he reassures you and you do your best to accept his overflowing victory.
It is a total mystery how you still haven't passed out. But you're grateful for it. You'd like to treasure this moment forever.
"I don't think I'll be able to let go of you anytime soon," Chan chuckles softly, still inside of you.
"That's alright, I think I can get used to this," you respond happily, kissing him again.
"Great. 'Cause I don't plan to ever stop hunting you, my sweet little prey," Chan vows.
"I am but a willing victim to whatever it is the full moon did to you," you smile contentedly.
"And if it's not just the full moon?" Chan asks, biting your earlobe playfully with his sharp teeth. "What if I want to have my way with you every night?"
"Who needs sleep anyways?"
The End
#bang chan x reader#stray kids x reader#skz x reader#stray kids smut#bang chan smut#chan x reader#chan smut#stray kids imagines#stray kids fanfic#skz scenarios#stray kids#chan#writing
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Replaced (Charles Leclerc x Ferrari Driver!Reader)
Part 1 of Transition
Summary- Being the first and only female driver in Formula One was a huge deal; to be signed by Ferrari was even bigger. Imagine being blind sided by a replacement by Lewis Hamilton in 2025. Even worse; your boyfriend doesn't get it.
Warning- a little angst, established relationship
{Reader's POV}
My world came crashing down when I saw the post on the official Formula One social media. 'Lewis Hamilton to join Ferrari from 2025' How could Fred do this to me? After everything. I've been performing consistently, getting podiums, race wins against a RedBull. What more was I supposed to do? Why wasn't I informed before? My heart was beating against my chest, my eyes burned, my stomach was turning in on it's self. I couldn't help but pace around our house in Monaco. Charles had gone grocery shopping. Did Charles know? Why wouldn't he tell me if he did? How could they announce this when the season hasn't even started? Was I that easily disposable? My phone was blowing up from texts and calls from friends and family. I wanted to cry. Where was Charles when you needed him?
Speak of the devil; he opened the door with a pip in his step and a big smile on his face; he came and hugged me. "I missed you" he mumbled against my neck. My hands hung by my side. I didn't have any feeling left in my limbs. "Did you know?" I stammered, trying to stop the tears. Charles pulled back with confusion on his face. "Know what?" he asked. "That Lewis was replacing me next year" I stated. He was quite; worst of my fears were coming true all together today. "You knew" I breathed out. My voice breaking as I laughed. "My boyfriend knew I was being fired. Can't believe this" I said running a hand through my hair. "How could you do this to me?" I screamed. "Mon bebe, I didn't know for sure. I had heard rumours" He trailed off. "Yet you said nothing, you could've warned me. Maybe...maybe I could've convinced Fred to keep me" I cried. "You don't know what it's like being a woman in Formula One" I shouted with tears running down my face. "Mon Amor" he whispered trying to hug me. I pushed him away; "Don't...Don't you dare touch me. I don't need your fucking sympathy" I stated turning around to start pacing the room. "Everyone's calling and texting me Charles, what am I supposed to tell them? What am I supposed to tell my parents who put everything on the line to make sure I ended up in Formula One" I rambled. "We'll get through this. I'm sure" he began. "You have nothing to get through Charles, while you can still race in red for Ferrari, I've just lost my seat in Formula One. It was difficult getting here as is; now I need to find a way to stay on the track." I exclaimed. "Mon Coeur, we'll find a way. I'm sure other teams are lining up to sign you" he suggested. I laughed dryly, "I almost lost my chance in Formula One until Ferrari signed me a few years ago. I was on my way out; no race wins, no podiums just sheer determination to stick around. And then like the angels sent from above Ferrari signed me. I was over the moon. I won races, I was able to stand on the podium in Ferrari after 4 years in this sport. You know what it meant to me. I've told you everything, I've been the most vulnerable version of myself with you. Yet, you never told me there were talks to replace me" I mourned.
"World's best boyfriend everyone" I taunted while clapping my hands. "Y/N, this is hard for me too" he said trying to come closer. "No Charles, it's hard for me since I've been fired. You are not the one getting axed." I said finally sitting down. Charles walked towards me crouching down to sit on the floor while holding my hands, "We'll find a way. You're so talented anyone would want you. I'm sure" he proposed. I shook my head while I let the tears fall for the first time. I moved my hands up to wipe my tears, "I don't know what more I could've done to make sure that Fred kept me. I don't know what I could've done to stay" I lamented while rubbing my eyes. Charles moved my hands to cup my cheeks; "You can do it" he said while kissing my lips. "I need to regroup." I thought out loud. The cogwheels in my head started to turn. I wasn't letting them kick me out of the sport I gave my whole live to. I was gonna show them who Y/N Y/L/N was. They were gonna miss the day they messed with me. I picked up my phone and called my team to call for a meeting. My manager and mentor was already on it talking to other teams when I told we need to regroup. I could see a couple texts from Fred which I decided to ignore till I was calmer otherwise I would probably commit murder. While on call with my team, I started packing up my stuff. "Where are you going?" Charles asked while following me. "My teams in Maranello, I'm flying today so that we could start planning." I stated. "You can do that on call" he suggested. "No, I can't. I think I'll go mad if I see you right now" I dejectedly stated. "What why?" he questioned. "Charles, you have everything I've always wanted and everything I just lost in a split second. It'll make me hate you and I don't want that. I love you too much to hurt the either of us." I said while zipping up my bag.
"I'll see you when I'm ready, when I know what I'm gonna do" I said while looking at him. I saw tears pool up in his eyes, "Why are you punishing me?" he asked. "I'm not. It's for the best that I get away from here." I commented. "Je t'aime beaucoup" I whispered in Charles's ear while giving him a hug. "Je t'aime aussi" he whispered back pecking my lips. "I'll miss you. Come back soon. You know, I'll always be here." he said with a another peck on the cheek. "I'm yours forever and always" he said while holding my hands. "I know. I just....... need to get over these shitty thoughts." I said while carrying my bag to the door. "I'll drop you to the airport" he suggested. "No Charles, I need to figure this out on my own. Take care" I said. "Why does this feel like you're breaking up with me?" he cried out. "I'm not. I'm always yours but I need to do this. I need to figure some stuff out and I don't want to hurt you along the way." I said while smiling through the tears. "See you on the track, mon tout" I said while walking out of our shared apartment.
#f1 imagine#f1 fanfic#f1 fic#f1 x reader#f1 x y/n#f1 x you#formula 1 imagine#formula 1 fanfic#formula 1 fic#formula 1 x reader#f1 angst#f1 x driver!reader#formula one x you#formula one x reader#formula one imagine#formula one fanfiction#formula one x y/n#formula one angst#formula 1 angst#formula 1 x y/n#formula 1 x you#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc#charles leclerc fanfic#cl16 x reader#cl16 imagine#cl16 x you#cl16 one shot
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https://www.instagram.com/p/Ck9O9OgyB30/?igsh=MTY4dWRjNWpwM2l4dw==
https://www.instagram.com/p/CnWy9qIJo_-/?igsh=bGp1d3htc3dzaDdw
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Some of eunha black dress, feel free to pick any, she looks amazing
Black
(Eunha X Male Reader)
You kiss Eunha's neck, while listening to Umji. The latter is currently working on making dinner, while Eunha is struggling not to whine and complain.
She deserves this punishment. You didn't expect her to be such a naughty girl, but Umji caught her in the act and told you all about it, with a satisfied smirk on her lips.
"Are you already done cutting that?"
You motion towards the vegetables, which Umji put to the side as she is now turning on the stove.
"I am."
Umji turns around, her eyes focused on Eunha's face.
"I like it thick."
Her whispered words make the poor girl let out a small mewl. Your left hand keeps holding onto her chest, giving her tits occasional squeezes through the black fabric. Your right is lying on her center, giving her exposed clit some lazy rubs.
But the most agonizing part for Eunha is your dick. She can feel it between her thighs. Your slow, shallow thrusts have her dripping wet. But you aren't fucking her pussy. No. This is her punishment. And her thighs definitely rival her pussy in tightness and smoothness. Especially when her slick is slightly lubricating her skin.
Another playful bite of yours makes Eunha gasp. Umji chuckles with an evil glint in her eyes. You feel how her full thighs squeeze your cock. Your thrusting makes your own toes curl. But you would never admit to Eunha how great her thighs feel. If you would, she would start wearing skirts and shorts that would expose them completely. Even in public.
For a moment, you like the idea. Always having a full view of her legs would definitely improve your day to day life. But then again, you'd have the urge to squeeze and dig your fingers into them 24/7. Or you would fuck them, whenever you want. Which brings us back to the here and now.
You kiss Eunha's neck, while watching Umji. The latter has just dumped the noodles into the pot with the boiling water in it.
"O-Oppa, please..."
Her desperate whine makes you smile.
"Umji told me how much you love watching us. I can't believe you actually hid a camera in her room, just so you can touch yourself, while I make her my toy."
"Oppa... I-I will be a good toy too. Pretty please?"
Despite Umji's back facing you, you can guess where her free hand has gone, while the other is holding onto the pot. You give one of Eunha's mounds a rougher squeeze, which makes her gasp.
"I still can't believe you spied on us."
You raise your hips a little. Your next thrust penetrates the gap between her thighs dangerously close to her pussy. Her hitched breath shows you that she is very aware of what you just did.
"J-Just because I love you so much, oppa."
"Do you really?"
With her back turned towards you, you can't see her face, but Eunha nods.
"Yes. I just wish you'd use me more."
Her desperate, almost hurt tone, gives you a slight feeling of sympathy. She is right. You've been hanging out with the others quite often recently.
"Alright then. The two of us will spend some alone time after dinner."
A happy squeal makes Umji turn around.
"But oppa! I want you too."
You let out a sigh. Sometimes, this is harder than it looks. So you should focus on the task at hand for now.
"We will arrange something later."
With that, you take a hold of Eunha's waist with both hands. You see her placing her own on the surface of the counter she is staying behind. Your thrusts between her thighs become faster. Harder. You've had enough for now anyway. The slow stuff isn't for you at all.
Soon, you're actually fucking her thighs. You make her body rock back and forth. Her pussy keeps her thighs lubricated, her juices steadily flowing down in small streams. The clapping of your hips against her ass fills the room, drowning out the boiling water.
Umji hass given up on cooking dinner. She is watching you using Eunha's thighs for your own pleasure, while shamelessly playing with herself underneath her skirt.
"Damn, Eunha. I'd love to fuck these all day."
You growl into her ear, your fingers now digging into them at the front. Eunha whines. This is way too much torture for her. How could she take this? Your cock almost grazing her lips, but not plunging into her needy cunt?
"C-Can you....just the tip?"
Her desperate tone and that pathetic question makes you laugh at her. You give her cheek a kiss.
"Later. This is still punishment."
But you know that this punishment won't be going on for much longer. Eunha's thighs are just in a league of their own.
"I'm gonna cum, Eunha."
You whisper into her ear, making her shudder.
"Yes please, oppa. Use me as a canvas. Please. My thighs..."
Her eyes are closing as Eunha feels your thrusts becoming harsher and faster. She feels your cock throbbing between her legs.
And then, you stop right between them. Right underneath her center.
"Fuck."
Another growl into her ear makes her gasp as your cum paints her thighs. Her smooth skin is now all sticky as you keep thrusting between the gap of her thighs. You go slow again, riding out your orgasm. Your bodyweight presses her small body against the counter.
"Thank you for punishing me, oppa."
#ask#anon#kpop#kpop smut#kpop girls#kpop gg#male reader#gfriend smut#gfriend umji#gfriend eunha#gfriend#viviz umji#viviz smut#viviz eunha#eunha#eunha smut
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familia iii || alexia putellas x reader ||
More adventures with your family.
Previous Part.
"This is not funny," Alexia grumbled as Maria ran away from her and ducked behind the couch. You glanced at your wife with a look of sympathy. Jaime was engrossed in her book, but you heard the girl chuckle at the situation. Diaper changes were the bane of Alexia's existence. It seemed like Maria hadn't gotten into the habit of walking around, but instead decided that she liked sprinting everywhere. "Mi amor, will you change her diaper please?"
"Fine, but only because you can't exactly run right now," you teased. Alexia flopped back onto the couch with a heavy sigh. Her stomach stuck out as the last of your children sat inside of it. You were excited, although you wished that Alexia hadn't taken on the trial run of being inseminated. That pushed her retirement game up, as well as leaving a less than two year gap between Maria and the next baby.
"Thank you," Alexia mumbled. Her eyes were closed, but only for a moment. You poked her head behind the couch and Maria immediately began to toddle towards you. Jaime shifted closer to Alexia on the couch, distracting her mother from noticing how quickly Maria just came to you. "What are you reading?"
"Auntie Leah sent a book," Jaime muttered. Alexia glanced over her shoulder, watching as Jaime read. You thought it was adorable, and you couldn't wait for Maria to grow up a little and calm down enough for nice moments like that. There was the occasional naptime snapshot of Maria asleep with Jaime, but for the most part, she was absolutely wild. Eli claimed that it was how Alexia had been whenever she was that age, but you had a hard time believing it.
You changed Maria into a new diaper before carrying her back to the living room. Alexia had a futbol game on, and Maria instantly sat down on the floor to watch it. She was going to be a footballer, and you knew it. You hadn't told Alexia yet, but you were convinced that Jaime would follow in Alba's footsteps and become a teacher. She was a natural caretaker, and was already trying to teach Maria as much as she could.
"Goooaaaal!" Maria echoed as a ball slipped into the goal. You watched as Alexia's face fell, Barcelona not having scored that goal. The look on her face was nothing short of absolute betrayal. Athletico Madrid had scored, but you knew in Alexia's eyes, it might as well as been Real.
"No, that's not good. Don't celebrate that! (Y/n), tell her that's bad." Alexia was absolutely panicked. You let out a small chuckle as you got onto the floor and picked Maria up, who was still cheering. "What about Barcelona, baby?"
"She's just repeating what they said on the TV, that's all," you told Alexia. She didn't seem to buy it at all, and suddenly, you knew that you would be left with three children for the rest of the day. True to your suspicions, Alexia spent quite a long time just pouting, despite Barcelona winning by 5 goals. You had hoped that it was just a one-day thing, but it started up again whenever you came back with an Athletico shirt that Maria had insisted on keeping.
"How sure are you that she is ours?" Alexia asked as she watched the baby sprint around the yard. She was chasing Alba's dog around Eli's backyard. Jaime and Alba were out there with her, tossing sticks around for Maria and the dog to bring back. "I mean, she doesn't like Barcelona, so I think they messed up at the hospital."
"Ale, don't even joke like that!" You swatted at your wife's shoulder, smacking her repeatedly. "She's a baby, she likes the colors. Stop acting like it is the end of the world. There are more than enough Barcelona players around us to brainwash Maria into thinking anything that you want her to. Let's face it, you need to worry about Lucy getting her Chelsea hooks in."
"She would never even try, we respect each other. This feels like Maria's doing, she came from Madrid after all. Maybe even Jenni too." You rolled your eyes as Alexia tried to figure out who the culprit was. You thought it was all absolutely ridiculous, but you let her keep going as you went to help Eli get the table set and ready.
…
"Ugly," Maria said as she turned away from Elizabeth. You watched her toddle away from the newborn and right back to where she had been sitting on Jaime's lap. "Babies are gross."
"You're a baby," Jaime muttered. You could see it begin before it happened, but still couldn't stop it. A single well placed shot from Maria had Jaime's nose bleeding, and all of the noise woke Alexia and Elizabeth up. You took Jaime to get cleaned up while Maria sat in time out and Alexia tried to calm Elizabeth down.
"Can you please behave yourselves until Tia Alba comes to take you for the weekend?" Alexia asked tiredly. Jaime nodded as she sat down next to Elizabeth's crib. Unsurprisingly, Maria shook her head as she sat and loudly kicked her feet in her chair. "Mi amor, can you do something please?"
"Mari, do you want me to sit with you for a little bit?" Maria didn't even wait for you to finish your question before she was getting up to pull you over. Where Jaime had clung to Alexia, Maria clung to you. At times, both Alexia and Maria got jealous of how close the two of you were. It would only get worse, and you knew it. Maria was used to being the baby, and now, there was a whole new baby in the house. She had been acting out more and more the closer Elizabeth's due date had gotten.
You were able to calm Maria down long enough for Alexia to get a nap in before Alba came to take them. You carried a sleeping Maria out to Alba's car, but made sure to wake her up for goodbye kisses. Alexia tried to give the toddler some as well, but was instead met with little slaps to the face.
"Yep, I love you too. Have a good time girls," Alexia said.
"Adios Mummy, te amo mucho," Maria said. You smiled as the toddler reached for you once again. You made sure that Alexia didn't hug or kiss you again until Alba had driven away, knowing that if Maria didn't get the last bit of affection, she'd throw a fit.
"I can't believe that I'm beefing with a toddler. My own kid, what the hell?" Alexia threw her arms up in desperation. You chuckled a little, also finding it ridiculous how they got at each other. "This one better be obsessed with me to make up for it."
"Just don't take it personally if she's like Jaime was at that age. All Jaime ever wanted was you, maybe it's my turn for a baby that loves me for more than food," you said. Alexia sighed as she pulled you into her arms. The two of you went back inside, both of you tiredly watching over Elizabeth's crib.
Since you had brought her home, both you and Alexia took turns sleeping in there. If you weren't in there, you were dragged into the big bed by Maria and Jaime. Jaime liked her space while she slept, something that she had gotten from Alexia, but Maria always slept right on top of your chest. If Alexia tried to join in, Maria would keep a single leg outstretched to put space between you and Alexia.
"Do you think that we can sleep in our bed tonight, both of us?" you asked as you ran your fingers through Alexia's hair. She looked nervously at the crib for a moment before glancing up at you. "We have monitors, Ale. It's not for any reason other than I miss it being just us sometimes."
"I thought you didn't need to cuddle with me anymore," Alexia grumbled. You smacked the back of her head, causing her to mutter something to you in Catalan. "Sorry, we can sleep in bed tonight. I've missed you too."
"Thank you, and remember, she'll grow out of it. She's only a couple years old," you reminded Alexia. She let out a heavy sigh, suddenly feeling a bit guilty about constantly bickering with Maria.
…
"Mi amor, did you see that?" Alexia asked as she pointed at where Mari had just scored a goal. It was her first game with her little league club, and Alexia was already thinking about enrolling her in Barcelona's youth academy. "She's going to set records one day, I just know it."
"Ale, calm down a little, you're scaring the baby," you said as you pointed at Elizabeth, who was strapped tightly to Alexia's chest. She glanced down and pressed a kiss to the top of Elizabeth's head, only slightly disturbing the girl. The older she got, the more that she started to look like you, which was only fair since the Putellas genes were really pulling through with Jaime and Maria.
"Why would they put her in the goal? She's been scoring all their goals." Alexia looked beyond confused, but you knew that it was just part of the game. The kids didn't have positions yet, so they got to try everything. Alexia's excitement died down just a bit when she realized how focused Maria got in the goal. It was a look that Alexia had been dying to see in one of her kids, and this wasn't the way she had imagined it. "Oh my god, she's not a striker."
"Ale, it's very early," you tried to tell her. However, when you saw Maria in the goal, you knew that she had found her calling. Smiling to yourself, you snapped a picture of her to send to the groupchat of former Lionesses that you were a part of. Immediately, you got a reply from Mary, who told you she couldn't wait for a Putellas goalkeeper's jersey.
Out of the goal, Maria was still a star on the pitch. However, she wasn't as enthusiastic or focused on playing in a more forward position. Alexia pushed down any hint of disappointment to fully congratulate Maria, who immediately rushed to Alexia for validation. You had been out of the game longer, having retired when you were pregnant with Jaime.
"Mami, can I have keeper gloves?" Maria asked as she sat on your lap. "Oh, and can we take a trip to see Cata? I want her to show me how to keep the goals out."
"We'll get you keeper gloves baby, and I will call Cata later. Come on, let's get you something to eat. It is very important that you properly fuel your body before and after matches," Alexia said. Maria gave you a sweaty hug before running off with Alexia.
"Do you want to go with them to get a snack?" you asked Jaime. She shook her head as she glanced at Maria still bouncing around despite playing the game.
"Absolutely not. I don't want any part of that madness. Besides, Maria never spends time with Mami," Jaime said. You smiled a little at the thoughtfulness of your daughter. You let her keep reading her book until Alexia came back to tell you that it was time to leave. Maria put all of her soccer stuff in the back before you took her to change into something less sweaty.
She held onto your hand, leading you carefully back to the car. Jaime had gotten herself buckled up, and Alexia was just finishig fixing the buckles on Elizabeth's seat. You waited for Alexia to finish before you helped Maria into her seat. You let her try the buckles on her own, but eventually did have to help with the last couple of snaps.
A bit of quiet music and Alexia's driving had all three girls in the back fast asleep. You let her stay in the car while you picked up a call-in order of food for dinner. You brought it inside the house while Alexia woke up Jaime and took Elizabeth inside. You came back out and carried Maria in, the girl clinging to you tightly. Even in her sleep, she just wanted to be close to you. You thought you were going to have to wake her up to eat, but the girl woke immediately once a plate was set in front of her.
It was a bit loud and messy until bedtime, but you wouldn't have wanted it any other way. Jaime put herself to bed without much of a fuss, and you found her reading when you walked out of the nursery after putting Elizabeth to bed. Alexia seemed to come out of Maria's.
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Gold chain (pt4) | Leah Williamson
You and Leah finally met up again, nerves and laughter mixing as you both tried to hide how excited you were. warnings: just fluff and slow burn pt1 pt5 my masterlist
Leah had been glued to her phone all morning and part of the afternoon. She’d gotten used to it over the past few days, anxiously waiting for a message or call from you. The last interaction had been the previous night, when Leah tried calling you a couple of times after hearing about your elimination at Berlin. She hadn't been successful; you had rejected all the calls. Even though you were a bit calmer by then, you didn't want to feel or hear Leah's sympathy. Not yet.
At least you left her a goodnight message, saying you were trying to process the tough day you'd had. But that wasn’t enough for Leah. She needed more than a brief text; she wanted to hear your voice, to know you were really okay. The waiting and worrying were driving her crazy, and she kept checking her phone, hoping for a sign that you were ready to talk.
At least the photo shoot that morning had kept Leah busy for a couple of hours, providing a brief distraction from her constant worry. But she knew that once she got home, she'd be checking her phone again, hoping to hear from you.
She had just said goodbye to her staff and was about to get in her car when her phone started buzzing. Without even checking to see if it was you, she quickly got into the car and felt a wave of relief when she saw your name pop up in her notifications.
Her relief turned to confusion when she opened the message and saw a picture of the front of Emirates Stadium.
"This is the famous home of London's biggest club?"
"I asked a guy and he said I was wrong, that I should go west."
"Isn't this Stamford Bridge?"
Leah bit her lip to keep from smiling. She was getting more and more used to your quirky sense of humor and sarcastic comments.
"You're into comedy now?" Leah quickly typed into her phone, not yet getting what was going on.
"You wish."
Before Leah could respond, another photo popped up, immediately followed by a message.
"Do you think if I ask for it they'll give it to me?" The picture showed a huge banner with Leah's face on it.
"I'm a big fan."
That's when it hit her. Were you really in London? Already? You were just playing in a tournament in Germany yesterday.
Leah looked out the window of her car, seeing the same sky that was starting to darken, just like in the photo you had sent.
"What the hell? You're here?"
Leah couldn't hold back her excitement. Without waiting for your reply, she dialed your number. Without waiting for your reply, she called you. As the phone rang, she started her car and plugged in her phone.
"Hello?" Leah could hear the smile in your voice.
"I can't believe it," Leah said, nervously running a hand through her hair.
"What? That I'm your fan?"
"I already knew that," Leah replied, pulling out of the parking lot. "Stay where you are, I'm like twenty minutes away."
"Make it fifteen."
Leah became a bundle of nerves as soon as she got out of her car. This was only the second time you’d be seeing each other in person, and the first time alone. She walked around for a while, until she finally spotted you taking pictures. Feeling awkward and unsure of how to approach, she was glad your back was turned.
Leah opened her mouth to say your name, but nothing came out
This time was different from the first. You knew each other now, had chatted about all sorts of things, and shared some nice moments over video calls. You weren’t strangers anymore.
Meanwhile, you were completely unaware of Leah behind you, busy taking pictures. Satisfied with your shots, you stepped back and bumped into someone. You turned quickly, ready to apologize (or snap if it was some weirdo). But like Leah, you were left speechless.
Neither of you said anything at first, the tension thick in the air. Leah’s nervous smile matched yours, and you couldn’t help but let out a nervous laugh.
Leah thought your laughter was even more contagious in person than over the phone, and she immediately started laughing too.
"What are you doing standing there like a stalker?" you asked once you both calmed down a bit.
"Actually, by standing here I'm protecting you from any stalkers."
"Woah, how gentlemanly of you," you said with a grin.
"Yeah, I know," Leah replied, flashing a smile. She held your gaze, looking down at you since you were only slightly shorter than her.
"Don't look at me like that," you said, laughing nervously again and giving her a gentle nudge on the shoulder.
"I’m making you nervous?" Leah asked, genuinely curious. She had seen you go through other emotions before, but had never seen you nervous. The two of you had shared so many video calls, but this was different.
"Yes," you admitted, shoving your hands into your pockets. You glanced around and wrinkled your nose. "This is your place... it's a little intimidating, realizing how big you are here and what your image represents. I hadn't really taken it all in until now."
Leah tilted her head slightly, trying to understand. "What do you mean?"
"You," you said, looking back at her. "You're not just Leah to everyone here. You're a big deal. Talking to you has been... Well, like I’m just talking to Leah. But now that I'm here, seeing everything with your face in it, it's like, 'Whoa, this is who I've been staying up all week chatting with.'"
Leah felt a warmth in her chest at your words. She never thought of herself that way.
"I don't think it's anything to make a big deal about," Leah replied, feeling the heat rise in her cheeks.
"Of course not, Captain Williamson," you retorted, rolling your eyes. Leah's body trembled slightly at your playful jab.
"Well, you're a big deal to me too, you know. And right now, I’m just Leah." Leah continued. "I've seen your face on giant billboards too, you know."
You were about to respond, but Leah turned to you with a raised eyebrow.
"Where are you staying?"
"Ah," you chuckled, noticing the not-so-subtle change in topic. "I have a room booked at one of the downtown hotels."
"Are you with your team?"
"No, we're taking a few days off," you said, avoiding mention of yesterday's dressing room incident, which had caused the current situation. Nor did you want to bring up your recent appointment with your therapist a couple of hours ago.
"So I assume you messaged me because you got lost and don't know how to get back to your hotel?" Leah asked, heading back towards where she had parked her car.
"Actually, yes," you lied. You knew your way around London, but Leah didn't need to know that. "I just didn't feel like going straight back to the hotel, so I've been wandering around all afternoon."
"And you still don't want to go back?"
"I just don't want to be alone."
"Can I suggest something?"
You smiled at Leah's offer.
The drive to Leah's house was quiet, mostly because halfway there you had drifted off to sleep. It had been a long day, or rather, two long days: the morning flight, the session with your psychologist, the extensive walk around town, and everything that had transpired the day before. It was a lot to handle in such a short span of time.
Leah's car smelled like her, a comforting scent that started to ease your stress. She knew when to stay silent, creating a soothing vibe that made relaxation inevitable.
As you slept, however, Leah couldn't shake a bit of guilt. Maybe you just needed to rest, and here she was, possibly dragging you along to plans that might not even interest you.
When you woke up after she parked outside her house, Leah turned to you with a gentle concern in her eyes.
"Are you awake now?" she asked softly. "I can drop you back at your hotel if you'd rather." she offered, still buckled into her seatbelt, confident that you'd want to leave.
"What?" you mumbled, sitting up straight and blinking to clear the sleep from your eyes.
"You look exhausted, Y/n," she said softly, her voice carrying a hint of worry. Her gaze was gentle, trying to read the emotions behind your tired face.
"I'm just exhausted, but I know I won't feel any better alone in that hotel, believe me," you said, trying to reassure her and convince her it wasn't a bad idea.
Leah's concern deepened as she took in your tired demeanor. After a few moments of contemplation, she took a deep breath as she unbuckled her seatbelt.
"Well, let's go then," she said softly, her voice carrying a touch of warmth.
Leah's home wrapped around you with a scent even more intense than the scent of her car. The place had a cozy charm.
"I wasn't expecting a guest, so if you find anything strange, just ignore it, please," Leah chuckled nervously as she led the way inside.
"It's lovely," you grinned, following her inside. It was fascinating to explore the place you had only seen through a screen before.
"Thank you," Leah said, heading towards her kitchen. "Are you hungry?"
If someone had told you a few weeks ago that you'd be at Leah Williamson's house, sitting down to a hearty meal of potato smiley faces and chicken nuggets, you would have probably raised an eyebrow in disbelief.
"Is this your idea of gourmet food?" you chuckled, eyeing your plate—it looked straight out of a children's menu.
"Absolutely," Leah said with a grin, grabbing two glasses and a bottle of wine. "I did promise to treat you, after all."
The cozy kitchen and Leah's relaxed demeanor made you feel at ease.
"Well, you basically dragged me along."
"Hey, don't put it like that," said Leah pouting. "I gave you the option of taking you back to your hotel."
"I'm just messing with you, Leah," you said with a laugh, gently taking the bottle of wine from her hands to pour the glasses. "But seriously, this dinner is going to be a memory I'll cherish."
"I feel like you're making fun of me," she said, narrowing her eyes playfully.
"No, I'm serious," you replied warmly. "It's actually kind of sweet. I've never had this before."
"I just had to toss the potatoes on a tray, you know?" she said, chuckling softly, brushing off any praise.
"Come on, just take the compliment, Leah."
Leah chuckled softly and settled into the chair across from you, taking a bite of a potato with a thoughtful expression."So... Can I ask why you're here?"
"You invited me," you replied casually, flashing a grin.
"I'm not talking about that..."
"Ah," you replied casually, popping a nugget into your mouth. "I just had a bit of a breakdown... they're making me take these days off now, which I'm actually enjoying a lot," you admitted, locking eyes with Leah. "I've been in therapy the whole year, having regular sessions, but it's been weeks since I last talked to my therapist. Well, until today.”
"And? How did your session go?"
“Well… I’m definitely drained, that’s for sure,” you admitted with a sigh, setting down your glass of wine. “We talked a lot about managing stress and pressure, trying to find new ways to cope.”
Leah nodded sympathetically, her gaze steady on you. "It sounds tough."
"Yeah, it is," you admitted, running a hand through your hair. "But I think I'm making progress. It's just taking time, but I'm starting to figure out how to handle all the pressure"
"I'm glad you're taking care of yourself, it's important. You can talk to me too, I also know what it's like to live surrounded by pressure constantly. Maybe it’s not the same but-”
“It is,” you said with a smile, gratefully at her gesture. "Thanks, Leah. It means a lot.”
After finishing, you both moved the talk to the couch, ready to open another bottle of wine.
"You know what?” you said, sinking into the cushions and stretching out your legs comfortably “I'd love to watch you play football sometime."
Leah chuckled, settling beside you and pouring wine into glasses. "Really? You think I'd impress you on the field?"
"You never know," you teased, nudging her playfully. "It would be fun to see another side of you."
"I thought you'd rather watch Chelsea," Leah said with a mischievous grin, her feet up on the couch, almost brushing against yours.
Both of you were clearly enjoying the evening, the warmth of the wine adding to the relaxed atmosphere.
"I can always watch you when you're playing against Chelsea," you replied with a playful smirk.
Leah fell silent for a moment, her gaze drifting away before she asked softly, "And who would you support?"
"Don't you remember I'm your biggest fan?" you replied with a smile, reaching out to gently touch her hand. "Of course, I'd support you. I mean it, I'd love to see you out there on the field, doing what you love”
Leah's cheeks flushed again, a mix of embarrassment and something warmer she couldn't quite name. She hoped you would attribute it to the wine rather than your words.
"My head is starting to hurt," Leah murmured, her words slightly rushed as she tried to distract herself. "Would you mind staying here? But if you want I can call a-"
"Of course not," you reassured her with a grin, trying to lighten the mood. You leaned back, already feeling a bit dizzy from the wine's effects. "Or am I not allowed to stay?" you teased with a playful smile.
You were beginning to enjoy how flustered Leah was getting, it was adorable that she didn't seem to realize her feelings might be mutual. Unless you were completely misreading all her signals, there was a palpable tension between you.
"I'll get the guest room ready for you then," Leah said softly,a slight stumble in her step as she headed towards the room.
The next morning, Leah woke to the sound of your phone ringing from the other room. Rubbing her eyes, still half-asleep, she tiptoed barefoot out of her own bedroom and quietly made her way across the hallway to the guest room. Pushing the door open gently, Leah's heart fluttered as she found you under the covers, peacefully asleep.
Leah glanced at the screen and recognized your coach's name flashing on your phone.
"Y/n," she whispered in a hushed tone, gently shaking your shoulder to wake you. "Your phone," she urged, giving you a firmer shake this time.
The ringing stopped just as your eyes blinked open, adjusting slowly to the morning light.
"Huh?" you said, a little disoriented by the strange room. You turned towards Leah, her face soft and concerned. It took you a few seconds to remember why you were there. "Leah- Good morning" you said quickly, a little embarrassed, straightening up in bed.
"Your phone," Leah repeated, her voice soft as she tried to get your attention, but you were too distracted. Now fully awake, you couldn't help but notice Leah standing there in just sweatpants and a bra
Leah looked a little puzzled as your mouth hung open and your eyes slowly trailed down from her face to the rest of her body. It was then that she realized she hadn't bothered to put on a shirt before waking you up.
"Good morning," you repeated quickly, pulling your gaze away with a faint blush creeping up your cheeks.
"I wouldn't mind waking up like this more often," you thought to yourself, a slight grin tugging at your lips.
"I'm sorry," Leah apologized, unsure exactly what she was apologizing for. "Your phone was ringing, and you just wouldn't wake up."
"I'm a heavy sleeper," you mumbled, rubbing your face sleepily. The thought of staying in bed longer was tempting.
"Maybe it was important. You should check... while I get breakfast ready," Leah suggested before stepping out of the room.
When you entered the kitchen, you couldn't help but pout slightly upon seeing Leah now wearing a shirt. She stood at the stove, her back turned as she hummed a soft tune.
You couldn't resist the urge to approach her quietly, your heart fluttering with a mix of anticipation and affection. You tiptoed closer and gently rested your chin on her shoulder.
"What are you cooking?" you whispered softly, surprised by how calmly Leah received your presence.
"An omelet," Leah replied, her attention fully on not burning the omelet. "Do you like them?"
"Yeah, it smells good," you replied.
You fell silent again as Leah flipped the omelet.
"You smell good," she said casually, her attention still on the pan, showing no sign of embarrassment.
"I haven't showered yet," you blurted out, feeling yourself blush. It was nice to hear such words, even in that context.
"You ruined the moment," Leah teased, a smile playing on her lips as she shook her head and gently nudged you away. "Go sit down."
Leah carefully slid the omelet onto your plate and set it down beside a steaming cup of coffee. She then placed the same in her plate and took a seat next to you.
"Is it alright that I made you coffee?" she asked, a hint of uncertainty in her voice.
"If you're trying to keep me awake, it's exactly what I need," you murmured, taking a sip from the cup. "Delicious," you said with a satisfied sigh, enjoying the warmth spreading down your throat.
Leah smiled warmly as she picked up her fork and began to eat.
"What time do you have to leave?" she asked casually, glancing at you with curiosity.
"Are you kicking me out already?" you countered with a playful grin spreading across your face. Leah rolled her eyes playfully.
"That was your coach calling, I guess he wants you back already," she clarified with a hint of worry.
"No, I think Lucas is having the time of his life with these days off," you commented, relishing the taste of the omelet. "Damn, this is good. I didn't know you could cook," you exclaimed, taking another enthusiastic bite.
"It's just eggs," Leah shrugged.
"Well, it's the best omelet I've ever had," you praised sincerely.
"You're such a smooth talker," Leah laughed, her laughter filling the room. Her joyful demeanor was starting to win you over more and more.
"It's my talent," you joked, finishing off the last bite of the omelet. "Anyway, Lucas just wanted to check in, make sure everything's cool and that I didn't do anything too risky that could affect me physically with the tournament coming up."
"Sounds reasonable," Leah nodded thoughtfully, cutting half of her omelet and adding it to your plate. She had a feeling you enjoyed it, maybe because omelets weren't something you ate often.
"I'm so happy," you said, savoring every bite. "Remind me to have this every day when I'm away."
“So, what are you up to today?" Leah asked, curious about your plans.
"Uh," you mumbled as you wiped your lips with a napkin. "I actually wanted to learn something new, since I'm now banned from going near a tennis racket," you added quietly.
"What do you want to learn?" asked Leah curiously, setting down her coffee cup.
"Teach me how to play football!" you exclaimed with an excited smile, leaning forward eagerly.
"What?" Leah asked, caught off guard and nearly choking on her coffee.
"Yeah! I want to learn. I'm pretty sure I can't even kick a ball properly—oh! oh! Teach me how to head it. I've always wanted to try," you continued enthusiastically.
Leah shook her head, her expression a mix of disbelief and amusement. "But you said your coach didn't want you doing risky things."
"Come on, Leah, it's football.” your eyes sparkling with determination “How dangerous could it be?"
"Ouch! Red! Yellow! Foul! Foul!" you groaned dramatically from the ground, clutching your ankle.
Leah folded her arms, a playful smirk tugging at her lips as she looked down at you. "I barely touched you," she said, kicking the ball back and forth with her foot.
She had effortlessly taken the ball from you, causing you to lose your balance and tumble to the ground.
Leah started out playing gently with you, almost as if she were playing with a child, letting you have your way. However, as she heard your teasing comments about how easy it was, her competitive spirit kicked in.
"Another goal," she declared triumphantly, kicking the ball into the small goal set up in her backyard. "What's the score now, like 10-2?" she asked with a playful smirk, hands on her hips, looking down at you still sprawled on the ground.
You groaned, realizing she wasn't holding back anymore. Her playful demeanor had shifted into full-on competition, and you were loving every minute of it.
"Call an ambulance," you groaned, your voice strained with pain, eyes tightly shut.
Leah's heart skipped a beat as worry flooded her. You seemed genuinely hurt, and she felt a pang of guilt for possibly causing it. She hurried over, her mind racing with concern, and knelt down beside you on the grass.
"Where does it hurt?" Leah asked, her hand gently touching yours. You opened your eyes and looked at her, seeing the worry in her expression.
"It's just... here," you said, then quickly pounced on her, effortlessly knocking her down. "Gotcha, Williamson," you teased with a grin, enjoying Leah's confused expression.
It took Leah a moment to process what had happened. Suddenly, she found herself lying on her back on the grass with you sitting on her abdomen, legs straddling her, in a playful and unexpected turn of events.
"Damn, Y/n, you scared me," Leah said, taking a deep breath to calm herself.
"You'll need a lot more to break me down," you replied proudly, unaware of Leah's hands sneaking closer to your body. Suddenly, tickles sent waves of laughter through you. "Leah! No! Stop!" you managed to protest between laughs, attempting to fend off her tickling hands but finding it hard to resist in your laughter-filled state.
"It's the least you deserve!" Leah exclaimed, her smile mischievous. "You nearly scared me to death!" She took advantage of your moment of weakness to flip you over, switching positions. Now, it was your back against the grass with Leah sitting on top of you.
Before you could react, Leah swiftly grabbed your wrists and pinned them above your head, securing them to the ground. Her eyes sparkling with a hint of playful affection.
Both of you were breathing heavily,cheeks flushed from all the laughter and movement of the past few minutes. Leah let out a sigh, and you felt a surge of anticipation as her face moved closer to yours. Your heart raced with anticipation, thinking she might kiss you. But instead, you felt Leah's forehead gently rest against yours.
"Don't play with me like that," she whispered softly.
You froze as her breath tickled your lips, her nose brushing against yours, and her perfume surrounding you. The gentle brush of her nose against yours sent a shiver down your spine.
"Leah..." you murmured, feeling her grip on your wrists tighten at the sound of her name.
"Don't ever scare me like that again," she whispered, pulling back slightly from your forehead but not releasing her hold.
Your eyes locked, the air thick with unspoken feelings.
"I'm sorry," you murmured, a shiver running through you as you felt Leah's gaze fixed on your lips.
"Do you mind if I..." she began softly, her voice barely above a whisper.
It was the moment you had been secretly yearning for. It was the confirmation of the deep feelings stirring within you every time Leah crossed your mind. All you wanted and needed was to feel her lips against yours.
"Leah," you said impatiently, nodding eagerly as your head moved up and down a few inches.
Leah took a deep breath, her eyes fixed on yours, filled with a mixture of hesitation and longing as she leaned in closer.
You felt her lips brush against yours, the brief contact sending a thrill through you. But just as the kiss was about to deepen, the doorbell rang.
In the blink of an eye, Leah pulled away, releasing your hands and creating an abrupt distance between you.
"Fuck," you muttered, frustration and desire mixing in your voice, as you were left alone in the backyard with your heart racing.
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no grave can hold my body down
pairings: arkham knight!jason todd x f!reader
warnings: fluff, angst, a lil bit of suicidal thoughts but nothing too major
word count: 1.8k
an: this is a more detailed version of this post! please request jason todd fic ideas pls pls pls. sorry if theres any mistakes it’s almost midnight lol
Almost two years had passed since Bruce Wayne came to your door and revealed who he was. Nearly 730 days since your boyfriend "died". Gotham was a city full of awful crimes and even worse people but you've never hated anyone like you hated Batman.
You can understand that he tried, the guilt he must feel probably consumes him and a sick part of you is glad. Not only was your boyfriend killed, with video evidence might you add, but his body was never recovered.
Jason would hate it if you saw the video of the Joker killing him but you needed to know. It was all for naught though, you never buried a body so your brain fully believes he isn't dead.
Whether or not it was the grief of having the love of your life ripped away from you or the feeling in your gut, you know Jason isn't dead. Until there is a body in front of you, you will do anything that you can to find him.
-
It started with swallowing your pride and asking the person you loathed for help.
Bruce obviously refused, he wanted to avoid another young person's death. You caught him by surprise with how you begged for his help, he fully expected you to be mad at him, to threaten him for answers. But no, instead you got on your hands and knees and begged him for help, which somehow made it worse.
For weeks you kept reaching out to him, asking him for any clues or hints, anything at all! He has all the resources a person could ever need, he's known as the greatest detective in the world but he can't find his son?
"I've told you, Jason is... Jason is dead. You saw the video. Get out of Gotham and move on, there is nothing more I can do for you." You didn’t stop there though.
You knew of Nightwing, that he was the robin before Jason. So you reached out to him when he was on patrol. Unlike Bruce, you actually felt bad for asking for help, especially since he was working and was grieving himself.
Even through the domino mask, his face scrunched in sympathy, and as gently as he could he told you he couldn't consciously help you. He couldn't let a civilian rope themself into business they wouldn't be able to walk out of.
Understanding of his reasoning, you started going against the law. You started to sneak into offices at different police stations in Gotham (they were sloppier than you could've ever thought, no wonder people love Batman).
Given Jason's at the time profession, he taught you how to defend yourself. There was never a time you didn't carry a knife on you, but you always left your gun at home. Living in Gotham, it was best to take all and every necessary safety precautions.
Using the very low-level skills you had, you searched places that were abandoned and discarded, anywhere that Joker was ever near in the past few years. A part of you knew that what you were doing was dangerous, that if Batman had found anything he would've done so already.
But you couldn't just go to work and pretend your boyfriend wasn't out there somewhere, alive or not you had to be absolutely sure. If you died trying then so be it, it's better than living in the reality of Jason not coming home.
-
A year went by, 365 days of feeling your sanity drain out of your body. You've been caught a few times by the police for trespassing and once by Batman himself who scolded and lectured you about your activities. He was livid, upset at you willingly putting yourself in danger. You were at a higher risk of dying than he was and yet you go out in nothing but black clothes and a few weapons. He's genuinely shocked you're still alive.
After Bruce catches you, he makes sure to keep tabs on you which prevents you from going out. Even if he's busy, if he sees your tag too far out he will drag you back to your place.
There's a part of you that wants to give up, to actually take his advice and move away. But you know deep down inside nothing will put out the fire of finding Jason. Even if you moved to a different country, you know you would still look for his hair, to listen for his voice in the crowd.
Months of gaslighting yourself that he'll knock on your door and say it's just one big prank, that he was on a big mission far away and couldn't tell you to keep you safe.
Millions of excuses rolled around in your head day and night, work was a blur. Bruce even tried to compensate by offering to pay for your rent, to help you seek medical help like a therapist. You know it would do you good to rest but the guilt of leaving Jason behind was too strong. He's been through so much in his life, you wouldn't dare abandon him.
You still stayed in the apartment you were looking at with Jason, "a safehouse" he called it, you weren't even 18 at the time but you both allowed yourselves to think ahead.
Every piece of furniture you bought it with him in mind, "This would be convenient for him to hide his gear," "He likes this color, plus the blanket is soft so it'll help him sleep." Jason consumed you, call it unhealthy but he was your night in this dark city.
There was a spare bedroom, you were going to originally use it as an office/workspace but instead, it's covered in all the papers you've stolen to find him. The floor, walls and even the door were covered, overlapped, and written on with any possible clue you could've stumbled upon. It's been months since you've been able to add something that wasn't already on there. So instead, you sat in the room and just stared at it, cried, ripped things down, and put them back up with tears streaming down your face. It didn’t help that you would hear Jason’s voice soothing you whenever you cried, reassuring you whenever you were down. You knew it was your subconscious trying to console you but you liked to believe he was really there.
Then there were the hallucinations, they started back when you stumbled upon a hostage situation in an old arcade at the end of Gotham, you swear it was Jason but when the guy looked up at you all you saw was a stranger. You were stuck in the police station for hours, yelled at for stupidly interfering in a dangerous situation. The cops looked at you with annoyance now, you were nothing more than a crazy love-sick girl.
-
Lately, work has been exhausting, learning there was a new robin made your stomach swirl. It was like Batman just moved on, how is that fair? How could he move on while you were stuck chasing dead ends? Why couldn't you just accept his death?
Instead of eating dinner, you let yourself boil in whatever hot water Gotham could provide and scrubbed layers of guilt off of your skin. You put on an old shirt of his, which was horribly faded by how much you wore and washed it then curled up in bed; The bed was too big but you didn't want a smaller one in case he came back.
Usually, you triple check that your windows and doors are bolted shut but for tonight you just trusted your brain. Sometimes, it felt like it would be easier if you didn't wake up anymore, at least when you closed your eyes you could see the Jason you knew and loved.
Tonight was one of those nights where sleep was in and out, so when you felt a hand push back some hair behind your ear, you grabbed the knife under your pillow and lunged forward though there were no sounds of anyone in pain, in fact you heard the knife hit the floor.
"You have to be faster than that, sweetheart."
That voice. You would know that voice anywhere.
You blink your eyes open, slowly revealing the man you love in front of you. Except, he wasn't in front of you. This wasn't the first time he's appeared in front of you, it broke your heart all the same.
The exhaustion creeped up your throat and tears started to slip down your face, "No don't cry baby, it's okay." 'Jason' attempted to reach his hand toward you but you shook your head, backing into the corner of the bed,
"This isn't real. Go away, please. Not tonight."
The ache Jason felt in his chest at the sound of your distress hurt him in a way he's never yet experienced. His poor girl crying, thinking he wasn't real.
"I'm real baby, I promise." He calmly approaches you, kneeling on the bed, a hand reaches out towards you again,
Your head was buried on your knees as you hugged yourself into a ball, "You're not! I haven't found you! This can't be real!"
"Please look at me sweetheart."
You noticed his voice sounded different, deeper, more matured. It caused you to slowly look up, "There you are."
That's when you see him. The scars, the tired look in his eyes, the rage he's hiding behind it; There’s a difference in color in his eyes but they're beautiful all the same. They still look at you with love.
None of your hallucinations were this detailed, to be honest you couldn't imagine what he would look like after the years have passed. So to see this, you knew it was real. (Or some villain was damn good at illusions.)
He was caught off guard as you hugged him tight, he had to swallow down the feeling to pull you off. You were the exception to everything, so for now he could stomach the feeling of being held in place because he (is trying to convince himself) knows it's out of love.
You sobbed in his chest, apologizing over and over and over again, "It's okay baby, take deep breaths please."
Again, you started to shake your head, "It's not okay, I should have found you. I tried to find you, I'm so sorry!"
"I saw the room baby, I know you tried but that wasn't your responsibility." He tried to reason with you, doing what he could to calm you down. It's been years since he's seen you, years since he's dealt with anything normal, his mind is all over the place.
"Don't say that, I love you Jace. I would rather die than stop looking."
Jason tensed at the phrase, after everything it's hard to believe you, to believe any of this but he wanted to see you. He had to.
A hand found its way in your hair, holding you close to his chest, "You did good honey, thank you for trying."
Lifting your head from his chest, you looked into his eyes, "I would do anything for you, I need you to know that."
He can only offer a small smile, he knows you did and there's a small piece of his heart that can rest knowing you didn't forget him, that you still loved him.
He hopes he can learn to love you again, too.
part 2? lmk down below :)
© ihrthoney. reblogs & feedback are greatly appreciated𑁤
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